Don't Walk in Mommy's Shoes

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Don't Walk in Mommy's Shoes

Last night baby girl slipped her little feet into the shoes I'd just kicked off.  

I was tickled.  

And a little scared at the same time.  

Raising a girl is different than raising boys. I find myself holding her tighter and guarding her more. Like any mother, I'm protective (and more often than not--over-protective.)

I've walked in my shoes for more decades than I care to admit. And I've had my share of pain, heartbreak and disappointment. I've not spoken up when I should have. I've let opportunities pass me by that I should have grabbed. I don't want any of that for her.

Of course, this is all a part of living. But I pray for

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The Family Field Trip

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The Family Field Trip

This past weekend we took a family field trip as part of an assignment for our 10 year old's class. What I thought would be a chore actually turned out to be fun.

For his assignment, he chose to visit a mission. He initially chose a mission in San Luis Obispo, but it was too far for a day trip so he opted for The Mission San Gabriel Arcangel. 

The mission was founded in 1771 as the fourth of what would become 21 Spanish missions in California. The grounds included a museum, gift shop, cemetery, and an elementary and high school.

With so much to take in, it was hard to be bored. We'd forgotten how much rich history lies in California.  

It was nice to go somewhere we we weren't being consumers. Instead of dishing out money, we were taking in some knowledge. It was such a wonderful day that we have decided...

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A Lesson in Gratitude and Grace

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Last week was the Christmas musical at my son's school. My kindergartner gave us all quite a chuckle when he bowed...after every single song. See the video for yourself below. My son is the one in the middle sporting the black and red sweater. (Email subscribers and feed readers, if you can't see the video, click here.)

While we all got a laugh, my friend got a lesson. Click here to read all about it on her blog: Ordinary Moments...Extraordinary Memories.

Hello Six Years Old!

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Hello Six Years Old!

Six years ago today at 9:40 p.m. This guy came into the world with a bang. Unpredictable contractions all day soon turned steady and sent me to the hospital.  But when I got there I was told I wasn't dilated enough. However the pain told another story. After a 2 hard laps (I think it was two) around the maternity ward, I couldn't take another step. Nurses were summoned and surprised to see this child's head at the door. I was wheeled into the delivery room without even being admitted into the hospital. Three pushes later this guy was born. 

And he's been fast and furious ever since day one.

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Overheard: Things The Five Year Old Says

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Overheard: Things The Five Year Old Says

Five is my favorite age of all. Five is fun and lovable and just a ball of goodness. But in just a few short days, this guy will be a six years old. And soon he'll be all boy and no more baby. I'm a little sad because I love the way five year olds  think, speak and feel because it's all truth, innocence and sweetness. Here's a roundup of some of the stuff that has been spilling out of the five year old lately:

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Learning To Embrace the Teachable Moments

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Learning To Embrace the Teachable Moments

Today while grocery shopping I asked the 5 year old to stay next to the cart. Instead he wandered off when I turned my back and burnt his hand on the chicken warmer. 

I wagged my finger in his face and said "I told you so." But the truth is, I hadn't told him so. Had I told him it was hot, his little fingers wouldn't have been so curious. All it would have taken was a moment to pull him aside and tell him why I was asking him to stay close. It's often the small teachable moments that have the longest lasting impact.

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What 10 Looks Like

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10 years ago today at 8:15 a.m. this kid made me a mother for the first time

Delivering him was hard. But even harder was the realization that I was taking this little baby home with no instruction manual.

How could I possibly be equipped to be responsible for such a little life?

It's been 10 years of trial and error.

10 years of crying and praying.

10 years of calling my mother for advice.

10 years of firsts and celebrations and triumphs.

10 years of hoping that I'm getting it right.

Sometimes I don't. But most times I do, and that's only by God's grace.

10 is a hard age. It sits at the intersection of childhood and independence.

10 looks like me standing back and watching as he happily runs off alone to his class after drop offs at school. He no longer wants me to walk him.

10 looks like hours with his nose buried in book.

10 looks like headphones on enjoying his own world.

10 looks like understanding more how the world works and answering real life questions.

10 looks like teaching him to be his own person.

10 looks like taking out the trash but still having to be reminded to do so. 

10 looks like letting go more than holding on.

These past 10 years have flown by. Ten more and he'll be an adult.

But for right now I'll cherish these last few days of childhood with my first born.

Happy birthday!

 

When Hurts Happen....

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Yesterday baby girl come home with a scratch on her eye from another child accidentally scratching her. The whole incident was explained by the daycare and handled well. But I still was upset. First, I wanted to be mad at the daycare or the caregiver or the other child. Then I realized I was mad because I wasn't there to protect my baby.

Isn't that what most parents want to do? To shield their kids from every single hurt and all harm.

But it's not possible. And even if it was, what good would it do for our children?

Even in childhood, they need to learn now to deal with pain and disappointment. This year, there's a girl in my son's 4th grade class who cried every morning at drop off for the first two months. I kept wondering why a 9-year-old child would still be crying over something as mundane as school drop off. That's the kind of behavior you'd expect from a baby. Then, it made me wonder if her parents haven't equipped her to deal with hard situations or painful stuff. Makes me wonder if I'm crippling my children in any way.

My hope for my children is for them to be resilient and able to bounce back. Set backs in life can knock the wind out of you, but you don't have to let them keep you down and I surely hope that's mirrored in our home for these little ones we are raising.

Earlier this month, I had an incident with a co-worker where work I needed wasn't delivered on time because they were dealing with some personal issues. Very weighty personal issues. We all have had them or will have them if we haven't already.  

To see her buckle under the weight of it all and not even be able to perform at a standard she's used to was heartbreaking. Whatever is hurting her is so debilitating that she can't find the strength to fight back and keep her life in motion. 

Now don't get me wrong. We all need a time and place to sit and cry it out or scream it out or whatever the case. We need time to grieve whatever pain we've been through. Then comes the time when you dust yourself off and try again.  You CAN dust yourself off and try again.

While I love my babies, I certainly don't want to cripple them by over-sheltering them to the point where they can't cope when life is hard or something hurts them.  

What are some ways you are helping your kids to be resilient?