Impressing God's Word on Little Hearts

As mommas, we are careful to teach our kids while they're young.

We teach them to brush their teeth. Wash behind their ears. Ties their shoes. Chew with their mouths closed. We teach them to say please and thank you. We do our best to equip for the world.

I realized I was going to great lengths to teach them all I could about how to navigate this big world they'll soon be facing on their own, but I was neglecting the most necessary thing: the Word of God.

Before baby girl was born, I would spend time in the Bible with the boys. But three kids + a tired momma soon squeezed out any extra energy I had for walking with them through the Bible. That is until I got a quiet nudging from the Holy Spirit recently.

Deuteronomy 6: 4-9: 

Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one.  Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Write them on the door frames of your houses and on your gates.

My kids go to a Christian school, but it's not the school's responsibility to teach MY children about the Word. We got to church every week, but it's not on the church to be the primary teacher of my children about God. Our role as parents is to impress God's word upon our children's heart.

Sure, we can wait until they get older and let them decide for themselves, but that's not what the Bible requires. Waiting means the impressionable years would have since passed and getting that Word on their hearts is not such an easy task then.

I believe we are to impress the Word on our children's hearts when they're young because that's when it will make its mark best. I think about all the Play Doh that the boys have played with down through the years. New Play Doh is so lovely. It's soft and moldable in your hands. A joy to play with. They would mold the clay in their hands and then stamp it with designs or carve smiles on Play Doh people. Down the line, the new Play Doh would get left out, the tops not put on tightly resulting in dry, hard balls of clay. Hard to mold and carve Play Doh when it's old. It's mostly just a crumbly mess that has to be tossed. 

I see my kids hearts like that new Play Doh: pliable and totally ready for the Word of God.  This is is why I'm taking every effort to impress it upon their little hearts right now.

So every night before bed, this tired momma pulls out the Bible, gathers the little people and we walk through the Scriptures as they are read aloud. And last night, wouldn't you know what our Bible verses were? Deuteronomy 6: 4-9. Just a little confirmation that I'm doing what I'm supposed to be doing.

And as I asked the boys what this verse meant to them, my oldest recited word for word a New Testament verse that supported what we were studying.

My making an impression is not in vain. And our time together has become a welcome part of their day.

I'm making it my business to walk and talk the Word of God not just during our evening Bible study but also when we're sitting at home and when we are riding in the car. When we wake up and as we get ready for bed. I want their roots to run deep and for them to have a genuine love for God's Word....not just on Sundays (or Saturday nights which is when we go to church). I want the Bible to be woven into their every day lives. 

Motherhood as Ministry: Seeing the Mundane as Holy

When you have little kids, it's easy for motherhood to feel like one continuous chore. There's laundry, cooking, cleaning, helping with hygiene, training, discipline and the list never ends. I'll admit last week, I was so stir crazy with fatigue that I mumbled to myself: "I can't wait til these kids grow up so I won't have to do all this."

Ugh. What a horrible attitude....that was quickly checked. I only have a few short years to mother these three kids. Right now this is my ministry and I don't want to do it begrudgingly.

My main ministry: these three little people

My former pastor used to always teach that as women our first ministry is our home. Preaching to the nations and traveling the world is fine, but if our homes are neglected then our priorities are out of order. He even went as far to say that if you are preaching and your family is left at home, then you need to come off the road or take your family with you. Hard pill to swallow, but truth nonetheless.

Every thing I do in the home is ministry. From fixing meals to putting fresh linens on the beds. I didn't always think this thought. I used to put to women who preached on a pedastal thinking that was the ultimate ministry: to be behind a podium.

Now that I'm a mother, I realize the work, tears and turmoil that goes into building up little lives. Titus 2:4 says "These older women must train the younger women to love their husbands and their children." Loving children when they're babies is easy...it gets hard when they get older and talk back, throw tantrums and make messes. I'm convinced this is why women need to be trained and encouraged to love their kids.

I admit that sometimes mothering can feel like slave labor with few rewards. But it's through this work that mothering becomes ministry. Every moment is precious and teachable. Every task is building upon the foundation of who they will be in life. My home is the place where I'm called to love these children.  And I'm the only mother these kids will have.

My ministry includes providing a safe, clean peaceful place for them to come to after a day out in the world. The clean clothes I wash, fold and put away help them to put their best foot forward each day. Every meal I shop for and prepare is an act of love. Praying for them and with them, recounting the same Bible story over and over and even playing video games WITH them is part of my ministry. Loving them comes in many forms. 

I know I'll have to remind myself of this when I'm scrubbing yet another toilet or discipling a child gone wild. This time of ministry with my children in the home is just a season that will soon fade into another. There are no re-do's or second chances when it comes to raising children, so I want to devote myself wholeheartedly to this ministry of motherhood.

As I head to check on my little ones who are now sound asleep, and on pull on blankets they've kicked off as well as straighten up toys they have left behind, I take comfort in these words: “But you, take courage! Do not let your hands be weak, for your work shall be rewarded” (2 Chronicles 15:7).

Things I'll Miss When the Kids Grow Up

Never a dull moment with these three.

The other night I stepped on a Lego and my life flashed before my eyes. The pain from that little piece of toy was so horrific, I wanted to chuck every Lego in the trash. 

Life with kids is messy.

And loud.

And chaotic...

and downright exhausting.

But in a few short years, it won't be. Soon my three will be trading time with mommy for time with friends and trips to the mall. Toys will soon become cell phones and MacBooks. I know this because just yesterday, it seemed like I had little ones in walkers and Boppy pillows. But I blinked and they grew.

When they grow up, I'm going to miss drawings that feature their names scrawled in big messy print.

I'm going to miss little fingerprints on the windows of my freshly washed car. 

And artwork made with love brought home from school.

Toys rolling around on the floorboard of my car.  

Cartoons blaring early on Saturday morning.  

The cute way they mispronounce words and mix up meanings. 

Christmas morning joy that only comes from small kids.  

Cutting up food into little bite size pieces.

Making one last round at bedtime to make sure they haven't kicked their blankets off.

Feeling feverish foreheads with the back of my head and soothing them with kisses and cold compresses.

Requests for fruit snacks and cookies and juice and whatever catches their eye during a trip to the grocery store.

I used to get slightly jealous of my friends without kids. Their houses always pristine. Car windows clear of fingerprints. They never had toys in their purse or half-bitten lipstick in their make up bags. Then I came home to my little circus of kids and realized that life is messy but it's also infinitely more joyous and full of love because they are in it.

How I Watch What I Feed My Kids (The Music Edition)

We don't listen to mainstream radio around here. 

Crazy, I know. It's just that some of the music on radio today isn't good for my kids' soul. Heck, it isn't even good for my soul. 

Even though mainstream radio is not played around here, that's not to say my kids live in a bubble. They are very aware of popular music. They watch Vevo (mainly pre-approved playlists created for them) and have friends who know the latest music. We even listen to lots of pop and R&B music. I just try to be conscious of what we are playing. For example, we listen to a very small handful of C.hris Brown songs that I think fall in neutral territory. And if the lyrics just aren't appropriate, I will download an instrumental version if the beat is just too irresistible for them to resist.

Instead of listening to music based on its genre or the lifestyle of the entertainer, we look at the music for face value. There are lots of gospel songs sung by folks who are not living righteous lives and there is some gospel music that is not scripturally correct. This is why we don't live by the "gospel music only" rule that my church laid down as I was growing up. It's just not realistic to think that kids are going to only listen to church music when there's a whole world of great music out there.

A while back the boys asked to download D.rake's CD. I wasn't very familiar with D.rake's lyrics, so I downloaded a clean version. That should have been my first clue that things weren't right. The boys and I listened. I told them, we would have to cut D.rake out of the rotation because even though it was clean it certainly wasn't appropriate for them or me.

I'm sure most parents think me a prude. But I want my kids to watch what they're feeding themselves when it comes to entertainment. 

Instead of telling the boys no right away when they ask to watch or listen to something, I ask them, "do you think this is appropriate?" Most times, they know the answer right away. I don't want to be the music or movie police because soon they'll be making their own entertainment choices. I'm hoping by giving them guidelines that they'll make good choices through the teen years and beyond. Plus, I know that when they do get filled with the Holy Spirit, He will convict them of their choices better than I ever could.

When I do have to say no, I do offer alternatives for them. I'm glad to say the alternatives are always enjoyed.

Here are some of the positive and/or Christian artists that the kids enjoy when mainstream music crosses the line:

• Canton Jones
• Lecrae
• Deitrick Haddon
• J. Moss
• Da' T.R.U.T.H.
• Tasha Cobbs
• Trip Lee

They also enjoy lots of Kierra Sheard, Virtue (new music coming from them soon!), Fred Hammond, Kirk Franklin, Mary Mary and listen to 95.9 The Fish when we do turn on the radio. 

Listening to the Little People in My World

This kid here can talk my ear off. He's never runs out of words. He'll go on and on about M.inecraft and Wii.U games and Super Mario and Spiderman and every fact about every thing he's stumbled across.

He's got the gift of gab.

I hate to admit that sometimes I tune him out. When he was a toddler and the only child I had 24/7, I was interested in every word and thought of his. I need to tune back in, sit down with him and just listen. He's 10 1/2 and the time I have left with him before he leaves the house is less than the time I've had him. Soon, he'll be chatting up his friends and girls and I won't have an inside track to his life.

Just this week, we had a rousing game of M.ario Kart 8 on Wii.U. Great fun! I've been listening to the details about his favorite game commentator on You.Tube and been answering his non-stop questions. I never want him to think that what he has to say isn't important.

Being intentional about listening has helped me to see what an awesome little guy he is. 

The Two Fastest Years of My Life

After giving birth to two boys, I'd pretty much settled into the fact that being a boy mom was my destiny. Then, two years ago today at 8:15 a.m. Life turned pretty in pink with the addition of this little girl. 

She's everything I thought our little girl would be: girly, a little shy, adventurous and very funny. And she's everything I never thought she'd be: stubborn, fearless, super sensitive and a tad bossy. 

Before she arrived on the scene, I thought our life was complete with my stepdaughter and the boys. Clearly I'd put a period where God intended a comma. Now I can't even remember what life was like before her. She was the surprise that grew me in ways I never imagined.

Most days she leaves me wishing I'd had her in my younger years rather than my Sarah years. She's forever into something that I'd never imaged...like pushing a chair up to the stove to snag a freshly baked muffin or slathering coconut oil all over herself. It really seems like just a few months ago, I was a sleep-deprived mother of a newborn girl. Now, I've got a little person who is trying to rule the school with her opinions and demands.

In two short years, her personality has come full bloom. She's headstrong yet nurturing. A smart, quick learner who loves books, music, dancing and Doc McStuffins. So looking forward to the rest of my life with this little girl and helping her to be the best she can be in life. Happy birthday girlie! We love you so very much.

Young Love: My Kindergartner's 1st Crush

What do you do when your son has found the love of his life--and he's six years old?

My middle child is barely halfway through kindergarten, just lost his first tooth, but has already fallen hard and fast for P., a girl in his class. I noticed that he talked about her a lot. And every time I asked him about his friends at school, her name always came up.

A few months back he informed us that he asked her to marry him...and she said yes.

Insert gasping and fainting here.

My little kindergartner's recent drawing of he and classmate P.

Shortly after that he asked me how much houses cost. When I told him, his eyes got big. "I'm going to have to tell P. because we are going to have to get jobs and save our money." I thought his love would fade into the sunset, but it's only grown stronger and the marriage and future questions have grown more frequent.

"When P. grows a baby do I have to cut the cord?"

And the when-I-grow-up scenarios are non-stop.

While helping me grate cheese for dinner he says: "I'm going to have to learn to make a cheese sandwich for P."

"When I'm grown, I'm going to learn to drive so I can take P. to visit Grandma."

"When I'm a grown man, I'm going to buy a motorcycle so my kids won't ask to listen to their songs in the car. And there's only going to be room for P. to ride on the back."

I told him by the time he grows up, he'll have liked a dozen girls and probably find someone else to marry. He seemed offended by this thought. No way, it's P. or no one.

I read that 5 is the age when romantic love first arrives and it's a very real feeling. There's all kinds of research behind it--so that put my mind at ease..a little bit. It's weird to see him light up when he talks about her.

Today when I picked him up from school we saw P. and her father leaving campus. I glanced in the rear-view mirror at my son and he was gazing at her with dreamy eyes and a smile on his face until she was out of view. Oh, the sweetness of the first crush!

He's only six but soon he will be 16 years old and then 26 years old.  I realize that the groundwork is already being laid for his future relationships. I often wonder if I'm teaching him well. When he grows up, will he be the kind of man and husband that I'm proud to say I raised? Will his future wife thank me for a job well done? I sure do hope so.

In the meantime, I pray for him. That he will stand firm and solid in his responsibilities as a man. I also pray for his future wife. I pray that she is being nurtured in a good home. That her heart is being guarded and that she is not scarred physically or emotionally. I find myself pointing out good examples of what a man and husband should do. I want him to know that love is not just a feeling. Love is a commitment and a choice. 

Today, he said he and P. were having a private conversation under the slide at recess when a girl came over teasing them, "kiss each other." Instead of giving into peer pressure my son said, "no, we're going to save that for when we are grown up and married." Made me proud.

My prayer is that my little boy learns:

Love is patient and kind.

Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude.

It does not demand its own way.

It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged.

It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out.

Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.

Rethinking the Well-Behaved Child

A couple weeks back was parent-teacher conferences for baby girl's daycare.

Her report was glowing: obedient, well-behaved, follows instructions, knows to how to stick up for herself and use the word no.

With the exception of the last two, the rest leave me concerned.

obedient

well-behaved

follows instructions

They all made me think of the following quote:

Her report reminded me of myself as child.

I was a compliant child who did what was asked. I rarely spoke up and secretly marveled at (and envied) kids who voiced their opinions and dislikes. It took me decades before I learned to be vocal about where I stood and more often than not, I still am not as outspoken as I'd like to be. And I still think I follow the rules too much.

That's not exactly the path I want my girl (or my boys) to take now. Of course, when I was a new mom that's exactly what I wanted: kids who sat still and listened on command. What I got was an outspoken oldest child, a free-spirited middle child and a baby who laughs in the face of danger.

Teachers applaud the obedient child. While the raucous child who colors outside the lines is tagged for less-than-stellar behavior. Down through the years, I've noticed that it's the ones who buck the system and look for exceptions to the rules who climb the ladder and more often than not, make things happen. Or maybe it's just my skewed view that makes me see it like that.

Either way, I'm not so sure that what I want is totally obedient and compliant children.

I think of my husband: he's well-mannered but not always well-behaved, especially when crossed wrong. I kinda like that. He questions things and doesn't always accept what I think has to be accepted. Sometimes he won't take no for an answer. And other times he straight up bucks the system.

Sometimes it's disobedience that makes the difference. Not a rowdy disobedience, but respectful rebellion.  My hope is that my kids know how to navigate life wisely using obedience coupled with peaceful unruliness.

Don't get me wrong, I want kids who are well-mannered BUT who will also learn to bend the rules when necessary or make waves when it's called for. I don't want them to just accept anything but to question when appropriate. I want to raise kids who respect boundaries but will step over them if necessary for their well-being as well as others.

Were you a well-behaved, compliant child? Do you think it's served you well in life? Would love to hear your thoughts.