For the Days When You Need A Do Over...

Ever wish you could push ctrl + alt + del on your life?

This week started off with one of those mornings where I wish I could have a do-over.

I yelled at the boys. 

We were running late. 

Then we get to the 5 year old's doctor appointment and they forgot about us. 

By the time I'd dropped kid #3 off, I felt like a disheveled mess and the only thing I wanted to do was crawl back into bed.  On my way out of the nursery after dropping the baby off, I ran into a co-worker who wanted to chat. 

*Sigh* 

I plastered on a smile. 

 "You look great. I love those colors on you," she beamed.

I looked down at myself and realized I hadn't even looked in the full-length mirror before leaving. But I guess I'd managed to pull together something worthy of a compliment. 

We caught up for a few moments as she asked about the kids. As we parted, she said, "You always have it together."

That's when I almost wept. 

I wanted to scream, "No, I don't have it all together." 

Instead, I just politely smiled and told her I don't, but I appreciated her comment. 

"No," she insisted. "You really do always have it all together." 

She didn't know the havoc that went on that morning.

That the house was a mess. 

Laundry was left in piles to be folded. 

I yelled at the boys. 

Dirty dishes were piled in the sink. 

I had no idea what was for dinner that night. 

I'd picked out the outfit I had on from a pile of clean clothes at the foot of my bed that I didn't get a chance to hang up.

And the list goes on and on... 

At the moment, I felt like a failure because I knew that what she said about me didn't match up with my reality.

As I made my way to the office, I whispered to myself and maybe more so to God, "I'm so grateful that I don't look like what I've been through."

That's grace. 

Going through the fire and not smelling like smoke. 

Going through the water and coming out dry. 

The last few years have been hard. Some heartbreaking. One day I will share my whole story. I'm a private person by nature so sharing my every day trials is not something that comes naturally. But I'm just so thankful that the hard years haven't broken me and made me look worse for the wear. 

There are many like that...who wear what they've been through on their faces. It sits on their shoulders like an ill-fitting winter coat two tims too big.

Thank God that He takes our burdens and carries them for us. 

"Through the Lord’s mercies we are not consumed, Because His compassions fail not. They are new every morning; Great is Your faithfulness." Lamentations 3:22-23 (NKJV)

The Simple Secret To Changing Your Perspective

“I can see how it might be possible for a man to look down upon the earth and be an atheist, but I cannot conceive how he could look up into the heavens and say there is no God.”  ~ Abraham Lincoln

Lately I've developed an ugly habit: looking down all the time. I mean literally looking down when I walk. Half the battle is having noticed it, now I"m working on stopping it. 

It didn't used to always be this way. 

My childhood including lots of time gazing upward. Summers as a child equalled lots of outside time. Riding bikes. Exploring the city. Getting wet in the sprinklers and lying on the grass looking up at the sky. Watching birds take flight. Planes in the distance and pointing out shapes in formless clouds. The sky used to be my friend. The place where dreams where born and where daydreams lived.

The other day I got stuck in LA traffic. An accident slowed down my normally free-flowing commute. While trying to remain patient I just happened to catch a glimpse up at the blue Southern California sky. Oh what a sight to behold. Immediately something happened. My heart got a little light. The tension eased up. My perspective change by simply looking up. Then I realized I haven't done that in ages: look up. It was refreshing.

A summery Southern California sky.

Most of my time is spent looking around me at my circumstances, at what is in front of me, at what is troubliing me.  Evangelist Billy Graham once said:  “Believers, look up -- take courage. The angels are nearer than you think.” I'm sure the angels circle me and wonder why in the world I waste my time looking down when my perspective could so easily change just by looking up.

Jesus healed a blind man in Mark 8:  "Then He put His hands on his eyes again and made him look up. And he was restored and saw everyone clearly." (Mark 8:25) The man had been touched once but his vision was blurry. After being urged to look up, not only did his vision come back but "he was restored" and saw clearly.

Praise break right there! 

Looking up clears up our vision and restores our whole being.

Let that sink in. It's so easy to get bogged down by looking at what's going on around us, but even easier to simply look up. 

So I'm dedicating myself to looking up. Hard work for a neck that's has a natural bent toward the ground. And I'm encouraging my soul, my prayers..my whole being to look up as well.

"My voice You shall hear in the morning, O Lord; In the morning I will direct it to You, And I will look  up." Psalm 5:3

What To Do When You Don't Know What To Do

Ever been between a rock and a hard place?  Not an easy place to be.

You need the money and you need it now. 

You need answers on what to do about a decision and the deadline is looming.

The disease has spread and the medicine is not working. 

Bottom line: your back is against a wall. 

We live in a world that is in constant motion. Just slowing down on a busy street in your car to find an address will make you upset commuters (at least that's the way it is here in California). Today's society is all about make a decision and make a move.

Sometimes life isn't that clear cut and there is no place to move. Sometimes the only route out is looking up.

This is the place where the children of Israel found themselves at they sat trapped on the beaches of the Red Sea with an army of 600 of Pharaoh's chariots chasing them. They were hemmed in by mountainous terrain with no route of escape. In front of them was a sea that (at its widest point) was 220 miles across to dry land. Talk about being between a rock and a hard place.

But Exodus 14:13 lets up know this: "And Moses said to the people, “Do not be afraid. Stand still, and see the salvation of the Lord, which He will accomplish for you today."

A while back I got stuck in this verse; specifically on the words: Stand Still.

Stand still. Seems like a crazy command when you have an angry army on your heels. Standing sounds passive. Yet it's anything but! The Hebrew definition of the word stand means to station something, to continue, remaining. RemainING. 

Adding the suffix "ing" to any word means there is a continuing action. 

We think of standing as waiting. Standing in line..waiting to be next. Standing around wasting time. Standing doing nothing.

Add to that the Hebrew meaning for still : to pull up tent pins, to start on a journey, to blow, make to go forward, march. Here standing still means to get to moving. How is that? 

Then I had a personal light bulb moment. We stand still in trying to figure out our "rock and hard place" moments but we continue moving forward in faith that God will bring relief for us.  Stand still in our own efforts but move forward in faith.

There are times when we have to stop spinning our wheels and do like The Message version of the Bible says:

"Don’t be afraid.

Stand firm

and watch God do his work of salvation for you today.

Take a good look at the Egyptians today for you’re never going to see them again."

That's a lot of action going on for the children of Israel who were commanded to stand still. As they stood still (remember one of the definitions for still is blow). Verse 21 says "Then Moses stretched out his hand over the sea and God, with a terrific east wind all night long, made the sea go back. He made the sea dry ground. The seawaters split." God blew those waters back as they were STANDING STILL.

You may be standing at the edge of your own Red Sea today. I know I am. Hemmed in by mountains on one side. A sea before you and enemies hot on your heels. Might God be telling you to stand still as well? 

Stand still and take your hands off of whatever you are trying to fix and build up.  Stand still from plotting and planning. Stand still and stop trying to figure it all out on your own. Then take a good look whatever is acting as an enemy in your life today for you’re never going to see them again. Surrender and stand still but keep moving forward in your faith!

Keeper of the Home & Little Hearts

It's the first official week of summer vacation. While I'm happy to get a break from the daily grind that school brings, the boys are happy to get away from the s choolwork. The school year brought with it a steady stream of homework, tests, projects and memory Bible verses. 

Just last week, I told myself I wanted to keep up the scripture memorization for them this summer. But wasn't sure how to incorporate this...until my sweet friend Kelli posted a photo on Instagram this morning. Family scripture memorization. Duh! Why didn't I think of that?

Right now I have them posted on my picture frame turned "hand-made" dry erase board. But I like her idea of putting them on index cards that way I'll have a record of what scriptures we have memorized this summer and be able to review them. 

As a busy mom, it's so easy to get in the rut of being a keeper of the home and make sure they have clean clothes, food to eat and a tidy home, but I have to remember that I'm also a keeper of these little hearts as well. What a disservice to them if I didn't train them in the ways of the Word and left them to decide on when they wanted to learn God's Word. My greatest desire is not to just point the way but to be a living truth of the lessons I'm trying to teach them. 

Deuteronomy 6:6-9 says:

6 “And these words which I command you today shall be in your heart. 

7 You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down, and when you rise up.

 8 You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. 

9 You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.

We are to diligently teach the scriptures to our children. Not casually or as an afterthought. That's some hefty stuff right there!  And it's a continual teaching so that the Word won't just be in their mouths, but will transfer to their hearts as well. It's one thing to offer lip service but quite another for that Word to be rooted and settled in you.

In the Message Bible Psalm 119:11 says: "I’ve banked your promises in the vault of my heart so I won’t sin myself bankrupt." I've seen far too many people sin themselves bankrupt because they weren't well-versed in the Word and weren't equipped to fight temptation. The more Word they have stored up, the more ammunition they have to pull from to battle the enemy of their soul.

So we are starting the summer off with an awesome promise from God's Word. I'm praying they claim it for their future families and generations to come as well. 

Got any tips? I'd love to hear them. 

Building Prayer Warriors

“Prayer is more than a wish; it is the voice of faith directed to God.” ~Billy Graham

Bedtime usually consist of the boys wrestling, arguing, asking for snacks and water or just trying to avoid bedtime. So imagine my surprise when I walked in on my two boys kneeling in prayer the other night. And praying together...with no yelling or fussing. Talk about a happy heart!

It's my heart's desire that they learn how to be prayer warriors early. Not only for themselves but everyone they encounter. I'm always reminding them that one day they'll be heads of households and leading prayer will be one of their greatest weapons.

I grew up in church but never really grasped the power of prayer until I was an adult. I surely don't want them to have to wait that long.  So here's what I'm doing to help train them in the ways of prayer.

•  Be The Example

Children learn what they live. So instead of just telling them to pray. I do my best to pray for them and with them so they can hear me pray and see me laying hands on them. Every morning, I pray over them for protection and that they'll do their best. How else will they know to do this if they never see it?

• Talk To God About Everything

Whenever the boys see a problem, have a need, concern or worry, I urge them to go to God in prayer about it. Prayer is not just for bedtime and mealtime. I want them to know that we need to go to God on behalf of others because intercession is a powerful tool. I think I'm going to pull out a map and have them start praying for other nations as well so they'll see that there are wants and needs outside of themselves. 

• Educate and Train

It's not enough for them to just see me pray. Learning about prayer warriors in God's Word is crucial as well. And teaching them how to pray God's Word is of utmost importance and one that I'm going to focus on more this summer.  I also want them to respect prayer in general. For example, when someone is praying, we don't talk while they're praying; we don't walk in church while prayer is happening and we kneel to pray when needed, we can raise our hands during prayer if we feel led.

I'm also working on teaching them different kinds of prayers and that prayer is a grocery list of wants. We have been going over the elements of prayers using the ACTS acronym:

• Adoration: Praising God for who is and what he has done!
• Confession: Telling God about the wrong things we have done and asking for his forgiveness.
• Thanksgiving: Thanking God for all he has done for us.
• Supplication: Asking for things for ourselves and others.

God is raising up young prayer warriors and I want these two little boys to be well-versed in how to fight on their knees.

What's been the best piece of advice you've been given regarding prayer? 

Surpises Sometimes Come In Bundles of Pink

Life takes us by surprise and orders us to move toward the unknown -even when we don't want to and when we think we don't need to.”

― Paulo Coelho

I like to call this little pink bundle the child of our “Abraham and Sarah” years.  I was not expecting to be pregnant again. Definitely not at my age even though I had a handful of friends who had just had babies.

I have to admit, at first I was angry. Scared. Nervous. Sure, I’d already had two boys and was stepmom to a teenage daughter, but a baby? And I was sure it was another boy. I wasn’t sure I had enough energy or strength to deal with another one of them. Plus, I'd hit a groove with parenthood and a baby would upset all that.

Then the news came (after two ultrasounds) that there was a baby girl on the way….and my heart softened…and I got excited. And what was a surprise turned into a gift that came right on time.

With her, I feel like the parent I wish I would have been the first time around. I don’t feel swayed by what other people think I should do and I had no problem telling the doctors and nurses what I wanted when I went into labor.

During my first pregnancy, I reluctantly had an epidural only to be so numb I couldn’t even feel myself pushing.  (My 2nd came so fast there was no time to be admitted into the hospital, much less get any drugs). This time around, I refused an epidural. While the pain was intense, I felt much more in control and feel that things went much faster.

This little baby girl confirmed that I can trust my gut even when others are questioning it.

Our pink-bundled surprise has softened hearts, brought joy we never knew was missing and turned the boys from two wrestling maniacs into protective, caring, sensitive big brothers.

The thing about life’s surprises it that it forces you out of cruise control and makes you start driving. They can drive you to your knees or cause you to confront yourself as you never have before. 

Life's little surprises can unfold a new journey that we didn't know was possible.  

I’m loving the mother and person that this little baby is growing in me.