The Two Fastest Years of My Life

After giving birth to two boys, I'd pretty much settled into the fact that being a boy mom was my destiny. Then, two years ago today at 8:15 a.m. Life turned pretty in pink with the addition of this little girl. 

She's everything I thought our little girl would be: girly, a little shy, adventurous and very funny. And she's everything I never thought she'd be: stubborn, fearless, super sensitive and a tad bossy. 

Before she arrived on the scene, I thought our life was complete with my stepdaughter and the boys. Clearly I'd put a period where God intended a comma. Now I can't even remember what life was like before her. She was the surprise that grew me in ways I never imagined.

Most days she leaves me wishing I'd had her in my younger years rather than my Sarah years. She's forever into something that I'd never imaged...like pushing a chair up to the stove to snag a freshly baked muffin or slathering coconut oil all over herself. It really seems like just a few months ago, I was a sleep-deprived mother of a newborn girl. Now, I've got a little person who is trying to rule the school with her opinions and demands.

In two short years, her personality has come full bloom. She's headstrong yet nurturing. A smart, quick learner who loves books, music, dancing and Doc McStuffins. So looking forward to the rest of my life with this little girl and helping her to be the best she can be in life. Happy birthday girlie! We love you so very much.

The Gift List: Memories and Moments

I adore this photo of my father and my oldest from eight years ago. It sums up their relationship perfectly: mutual love. My father's greatest pride was being a grandfather. The other day I was a little down because I realized my oldest is the only one who really has memories of him. But what great memories he has. Just glad my dad got the chance to relish being a grandfather. Some other things my heart is singing gratitude for:

#91-#110

91. Discovering video of my father with my oldest son

92. Watching the kids enjoy play time in the backyard after dinner

93. Dining al fresco

94. Saturday nights at Chick-fil.-A after church service  

95. A message at church from a guest speaker that confirms what is already in my heart

96. My father's eclectic taste in music handed down to me

97. New music that I forgot I'd downloaded  

98. And Jillian Edwards' album Daydream on repeat

99. Friends reaching across the miles for prayer

100. Morning hugs from my six year old

101.  Connections I've made on social media that have turned into real life friends

102. A sister who makes childhood fun for my kiddos

103. Belly laughs with my mother over FaceTime

104. A promise of power for my faint moments

105. My babies growing big and tall and lean

106. Giggles and tickles and hugs amongst siblings

107. A hope that does not disappoint

108. Summer in Southern California

109. The steady hum of the dryer full of clean clothes

110. Sweet redemption

9 Old School Things My Kids are Missing Out On

I grew up on a narrow, hilly street in a quiet Oakland, Calif neighborhood behind Mills College where the clock tower on campus chimed with four bells every hour. It wasn't a perfect childhood, but it was filled with love and there was no shortage of fun. There was a lot of adventure on this street.

I still remember the day I finally learned to ride my bike on this very street. My father patiently held onto the back of the banana seat of my bike as I held onto those bike grips (complete with colorful streamers). When I yelled for my father to let go, I looked back and realized he'd let go a long time ago. Sweet freedom!

Me on the right and my bosom-buddy cousin and outside adventure partner in crime with our grandmother.

I feel so old because I find myself saying "these kids just don't have fun like we did." My cousin and I (pictured right) had a number of outside adventures: sliding down dirt hills on cardboard boxes, walks to the waterfront, hanging at the library and numerous trips to the corner store for treats. But now I have to coax my kids to leave the house. Once out, they enjoy themselves, but man, the struggle to get them away from video games and into some fresh air. Just the other day, my sister pointed out that my kids haven't even experienced the joy of climbing a tree. Sad.

I wish I could transport them back to my childhood so they feel some of the joy of my childhood.

Here are 9 old school things my kids are missing out on:

1. Drinking straight out of the water hose because you are having too much fun to go inside and get a drink. Plus, if you go inside you may get stuck doing a chore. 
2. Rushing to the tape deck to press record when you're favorite song finally came on the radio. One of the greatest lessons in patience.
3. Going to the neighborhood candy lady's house to buy penny candy...because my parents didn't keep a snack drawer like I do.
4. Saturday morning cartoons. There was a small window in which to enjoy cartoons. After that, kid television was over. 
5. Pick up games. I don't remember organized sports being a big thing as kid. If you wanted to play you'd go outside and look for fun. The boys would join up for a pick up game of basketball while the girls would play kickball, double dutch or Chinese jump rope (made with real rubber bands-not that elastic rope junk). There was also hopscotch and hand clapping games like Miss Mary Mac. 
6. Freedom to explore the great outdoors. I used to love to go over one of my cousin's houses because we'd spend hours in the creek behind their house catching tadpoles and wading in the water. We grew up in a major city but we still had free reign to roam our neighborhood and even the city on our bikes, by foot or even the bus if necessary. We just had to be home by the time the street lights came on. Today our kids are free to roam the internet but not the local streets.
7. Board games. I used to love a good game of Sorry or better yet Life. At family gatherings, board games were a regular thing. Now, we do have board games but they are brought out every blue moon and interest fades quickly. 
8. Album liner notes. I used to love to pull out my parent's vinyl albums to look at the artwork and read the liner notes as the music played. With digital music, this is now a lost pastime.
9. Sunday dinners at church after service. This was a time to get to know church members and just hang out. These days, it's just a mad dash to get out of the building to rush out of the parking lot.

My children will also never know the joy of winding up a cassette tape with a pencil or putting a dime in a pay phone and closing that folding door as you sit on that little triangular bench to chat. They'll never experience the rush of meeting a loved one at the airport gate or getting lost in a sea of knowledge in an encyclopedia with its thick glossy pages and colorful pictures. They'll miss out on the frustration of being "chained" to the wall phone to chat with a friend and the reminder to "be kind and rewind" VHS tapes before they are returned to the video store.

So many great moments from my childhood. I could go on and on.

What are some childhood memories you wish your children could experience?

june :: currently

Enjoying: The fact that my kids have mastered the art of the selfie...and have ridiculous amounts of fun doing it.

Loving: My new iPad mini purchased at T.arget during an awesome sale this past weekend. I wanted the big iPad for so long (but couldn't justify the high price tag) until my sister bought the mini. It's the perfect size. And I love that I can watch web videos on it via Apple TV. Now I don't have to hook up my MacBook to the TV.

Feeling: Stress-free since summer is here. Boys are out and baby's daycare is closed this week, so I only have to worry about getting myself together in the mornings. Non-hectic mornings are the best.

Reading: The Walk of the  Spirit - The Walk of Power: The Vital Role of Praying in Tongues by Dave Roberson. Being led to press into the power readily available to me. I'm getting back on track with a reminder of the gift God has given us as believers. There's a free PDF version of this book available on Roberson's website.

Thinking about: Scripture memorization. Really been feeling the need to memorize whole chapters of scripture. Started with Psalm 121 yesterday. While in school, the boys had weekly Bible verses they had to memorize. Why not keep the momentum going and expand it for the summer? I'd also like to get them some Bible verse songs to help with this. (So far I've been humming this song all evening.)

Listening to: Podcasts....lots and lots of podcasts. Currently enjoy Chip Ingram's series: House or Home Parenting Edition. Lots of wisdom shared and I've already picked up some helpful tips from his practical advice.

Watching: The LaVigne Life on YouTube...totally addicted to this little family. I admit that I binge watched until I was current. Nice to see a black dad so hands on with his kids and such a great companion to his woman.

The Gift List: It's the Little Things

The other day I was looking for something underneath the kitchen sink. When I reached all the way in the back corner, I retrieved a bottle--a bottle of sherry to be exact. It had been there from the last time my dad had visited more than seven years ago. I had to chuckle. My dad loved his sherry. I haven't parted with the bottle yet. It just makes me smile every time I look it. Sometimes it's the little things.

Still adding to my gratitude list: 

#71-#90

71. My little six year old giggling in his sleep

72. Big brothers who protect and love their baby sister

73. Holy Spirit conviction guiding me into all truth

74. A husband who loves his kids

75. The call to intercessory prayer

76. And carrying every burden to the Lord in prayer

77. Finding two normally bickering brothers snuggled in one bed after bedtime

78.  Happy squeals from baby girl when she sees her brothers at the end of the day

79. Our pastor back in church after a bad accident

80. Praying scriptures over my babies

81. My six year old exclaiming "Mommy, you look pretty!"

82. Dinner plates scraped clean

83. The power that comes with the gift of the Holy Ghost and speaking in tongues

84. This little girl of mine coloring and humming.

85. And pretending to read.

86. Inside jokes between brothers

87. Good morning smiles from baby girl.

88. My momma's face when she sees her grandchildren.

89. Loose front teeth on my six year old

90. Happy siblings playing in the backyard.

Forgiving Our Fathers: A Lesson in Building Bridges Instead of Burning Them

I'm always intrigued at people's power to forgive. Seeing it in action is even more mind-blowing. This weekend, I was at my husband's gym when I saw the most heartfelt exchange between he and his dad: a hug. I'm not talking about a polite, pat-on-the-back hug. I'm talking a full-body, I-love-you hug. A simple gesture but one that warmed my heart nonetheless.

My husband didn't have his dad in his life from the ages of 3 to 16. These are the years when boys need their father most, but for one reason or another, his father wasn't there. 

Those lost years took their toll on my husband in many ways and I know there's still some pain associated with his father being absent. When I first met him, this is one of the first life stories that he shared with me. How could you just not know your father for 13 years and then all of a sudden when you're a teenager your parents get re-married and bam, your father is back in your life? Crazy!

But what's even crazier is the solid relationship those two have now. When they hugged on Saturday, I saw a little boy relishing in his daddy's love that he missed out on for more than a decade. I applaud him for not holding on to unforgiveness and pain. What a treat our kids would have missed out on if my husband had burned the bridge between he and his father because of all those years he was gone.

Three generations that know and love each other thanks to a bridge of forgiveness.

I love that the kids can play and hug their grandfather....especially since my own father is no longer here. He's the only grandfather they have and I'm glad he's building memories with them.

What could have ended up bad has been for all of our good. My father in law is a steady presence at my husband's gym--working out four times a week and in return turning his health around (losing 40 pounds in the process at 65 years old). He's the biggest supporter of his son and loudest cheerleader. 

One day our kids will grow up and may learn about my father in law's 13 year absence from his sons' lives. I'm sure they'll be astounded at how their father offered forgiveness instead of lashing out in pain. I hope that one day they'll thank their father for this gift.

Around Here...

Lots of stuff going on around these parts. There's a never a dull moment when there are three kids in the house. Last day of school was yesterday (June 11). The boys were pumped about free dress (they have to wear uniforms to school) and the PTA-sponsored carnival which featured bounce houses, laser tag, hamburgers and cotton candy. My six year old had a blast until he threw up. Turns out a game called Gold Digger turned his stomach. The game is an oversized nose filled with snot (goo) and you have to dig in the nostrils for prizes. He said he threw up in the trash, chucked his prize in the trash because it had "snot" all over it and washed his hands. He truly is my child...

My 4th grader took home an award for gold honor roll (GPA of 90-94%). I'm so proud especially considering that he struggled a lot with math this year. Good thing Daddy was able to step in and help him out and give him a boost of confidence. My little kindergartener took home an award for Mileage Club. In an effort to keep the kids active, the kids walk miles at recess and rack up miles as well as small awards throughout the school year. He walked 35 miles this school year which is pretty impressive.

The day before the last day of school, I sent the boys to school with sweet treats for their teachers thanking them for helping the the boys to be smart cookies. The jars included double chocolate chip cookie mix. I should have made one for myself as well!

My Pinterest Monthly Project is still in progress but I have not been posting on schedule like I'd wanted to. So I'll just have to post as I have time. My last project was our linen closet. It's small and was desperately in need of TLC. I'd pinned quite a few idea from Pinterest like this. Here's what I started and ended up with:

It's so nice to go in there and actually find what I need. I forgot to take a photo of the bottom but all sheets are now organized according to size from crib size to king. All bins are labeled and were bought at Daiso for $1.50.

And finally, someone got into the coconut oil this week and had a ball. I couldn't be too hard on her because I'm the one who didn't screw the lid back on tightly after combing her hair that morning.

Hope you have a GREAT Friday!

If Your Father Is Still Alive...

Me and daddy...

It's been four and a half years since my father passed away and Father's Day still makes my heart drop.

It always brings me right back to the weeks before my father's death. The call to the hospital to check on him. The nurse telling me he'd been rushed into surgery...that things weren't looking good...that he was sedated...that he couldn't speak. I remember my mother's call the next few days and the urgency in her voice telling me to fly into town immediately. I remember walking into his hospital room and seeing the shell of the man who could fix anything and knew just about everything. I recall him mustering all the strength he could to open his eyes and search the room for my face. And I remember kissing his warm forehead, holding  his hand in mine (those same hands that held the bike seat as I unsteadily learned how to ride a bike) and leaving his hospital room for what I knew in my heart would be the last time I'd see him alive.

What I wouldn't give to pick up the phone and call him to chat about everything and nothing. When he first died, I would forget and pick up the phone to call him for a recipe or tips on how to fix something. Four years later, I don't forget but the urge to hear his voice and laughter is still strong.

That's why it pains my heart when people who know their fathers and still have their fathers cut them off. I want to scream at them, "time waits for no one. You never know how much time you have left with your father."

Those who have severed ties with their father, always have reasons why:

He's not living right.

He hurt me.

He wasn't the father I wanted or needed him to be.

He's full of empty promises.

He severed the relationship.

And the list goes on.

Most of us have been hurt by our fathers in one way or another. It's inevitable because we are human and that's what we do. Sometimes we hurt those we love.

I understand that it may be difficult or darn near impossible to have a relationship with the man we call father. Maybe he's locked the door. Maybe he's got mental challenges. Maybe he's  incarcerated. Whatever the case, we are still called to honor our mother AND father.

I know full well what it's like to be disappointed with your father and not want anything to do with him. (I wrote about it here.) I know the sting of being hurt by a father's choices and feeling like you're second choice to dumb decisions. But to have a relationship with your father you don't have to take anything from him. You don't have to keep trusting in those empty promises. Instead, you can be the one to stand on your word for him. Even if it's as simple as calling when you promised. You don't have to be a participant of his wrong lifestyle choices. You can love him from afar by sending a text message of love or dropping a card in the mail. Even if they're snubbed at first, few people can keep rejecting tokens of love.

If a relationship on this earth is just not possible, honoring your father could be as simple as you not bad-mouthing them to your children--or anyone else for that matter.

Sometimes in adulthood, we hold grudges against our daddies for what we thought they should have been to us. Let that go and just love your father. A postcard saying I love you. Praying for him when no one else is--if that's all he will accept (because really, who can refuse prayers offered up to God on their behalf?)

"Honor your mother and father. This is the first commandment with a promise." The promise? That all may go well with you and that you will live a long time. Maybe you don't want to live long. But I'm sure you want all to go well with you. I'm not just talking about living a comfortable life with the signs of success (car, job, etc)., I'm talking about the kind of well that includes your heart, your mind and soul. You know when all is not going well with you.

There are no stipulations to honoring. It doesn't say: honor your father...if he lived up to your standard or if he loved you right or if he was there or if he's not on drugs. We wouldn't be called to honor if it weren't possible.

Stop making excuses and start making up lost time.

If you are a parent, one day your kids will grow up and may not agree with how you lived your life or loved them. How would you feel if you were written off?

Let's start now with building legacies of lasting love and honor for future generations to walk in.

The Gift List: Counting Blessings

And the gratitude list continues.

Counting blessings instead of problems.

#51-70

51. Silly smiles, swings and sunshine.

52. The joy and laughter (and good food) at family gathering.  

53. Stones being revived from heaps of rubbish Nehemiah 4:2

54. The boys first surfing trip with Daddy.  

55. Hearing baby girl's giggles down the hall as I pick her up from Children's Church.  

56. Seeing the boys sing their hearts out at their school's spring musical.  

57. And watching my kindergartner bow after every single song. 

58. My grandmother's pecan praline recipe.

59. Visiting with my 92-year-old great aunt

60. Flipping through old photo albums.

61. Edifiying myself. 

62. Stacks of neatly folded clothes.

63. Standing in the gap. 

64. Teachers who encourage and care for my children.

65. Healthy kids after two weeks of sickness.

66. A text from my cousin in the middle of the work day that has us both laughing out loud.

67. A promise I'm clinging to. 

68. Aunt Mary's pound cake.

69. A sister who is invaluable.

70. The growing stack of books to read on my nightstand.

What's on your gratitude list today?