Open Up Let the Light In {Letting God's Word In on Every Dark Area}

Every morning when I wake up, one of the first things I do is open up all the curtains in the house. Letting in the sunlight has always been a priority. It helps to warm the place up and let’s the little one know the sun is up, so they should be too.

Even when my oldest wakes up before me, he’s taken on the habit of letting the sun in. I enjoy waking up and seeing early morning sunlight pouring in. Then, I look around and see that the sun, while beautiful, is shining its light on some not-so-beautiful things like: all the dusting that needs to be done, the millions of tiny fingerprints on the windows, the sticky square of juice that some kid of mine spilled on the hardwood floors and the yogurt that another kid wiped on one of the couch cushions.

Light has a way of being beautiful while at the same time shining a light on the ugly.

. . .

Listening to Steffany Gretzinger's Open Up Let the Light In made me think about the verse: The entrance of Your words gives light; It gives understanding to the simple. Psalm 119:130 (NKJV)

The entrance of God’s Word into our hearts brings Divine light and glorious revelation of the scriptures. But it also shines its way into those dark areas of our lives that we’d rather not look at.

But everything that is exposed to the light becomes visible, Ephesians 5:13 International Standard Version

 It’s not just the hearing or the reading, but the opening up of ourselves to the light that gives light. We know that we can hear and the Word can fall or be snatched away.

Today I’m thankful for a life that’s open to the light, even when it’s painful, ugly and downright embarrassing to see that shadowy areas of my life that I’ve tried to turn my back on.

God, help me to continually open up and let the light in.

Dear Daddy {a letter of gratitude to my father on the 5th year anniversary of his death}

It’s been five years today since my father left us. Sometimes (a lot of times I just want to pick up the phone and talk to him). Since I can't phone him, the next best thing is writing a letter.

Dear Daddy,

The last week of your life was painful (for you and for us). For some reason, you couldn’t talk. Maybe it was the drugs to sedate you or maybe it was the pain. Either way, I wish that you would have been able to share some last words with us on what we now know was to be your death bed. I wanted you to hold our hands and tell us how much you loved us and how proud of me you were for this accomplishment and that one for bringing your grandchildren into the world. I knew all of these things already but I still wanted to hear them.

I wish you could have given voice to your greatest regret and your greatest pain. I realize that though I’d know you my whole life, there were still areas of your life that were a mystery. I’m so grateful when my mother shares little tidbits that I didn’t know.

What I do know is that you loved us in your own quiet, reserved way. At a time when many daddies abandoned homes, you were there, even if you weren’t perfect. You had to pave your way through boyhood, manhood and fatherhood because your own father wasn’t there. Thank you for what you were able to piece together.

And thank you for your smile that charmed strangers wherever we went. Your kindness to others built bridges that have endured for years. Still, people tell me "oh how much I loved your father and his beautiful smile." 

Thank you for a love of books, words and poetry. I remember a letter you wrote to me during my freshman year at Howard. You referred to us (those who love to pen words) as a unique breed. I never saw us that way until you penned those words. 

Thank you for playing music of every genre in the house. You expanded my musical horizons more than you know. I hear Marvin Gaye, Kenny Rankin, Carole King and The Commodores  and think of you. 

Thank you for having a soft spot for kids and the elderly. In an era when kids were seen but not heard, you took the time to hear and see us. I'll forever love you for that. 

Meeting grandson number two for the first time.

Thank you for loving your grandchildren immensely. I have such great stories to tell them about your deep and abiding love for them. I only wish you were here to see them growing up. We talk about you so much that even baby girl says your name when she sees a picture of you. You'd be so tickled by that.

We miss your contagious laughter, your knowledge of just about everything under the sun, your superb cooking, and of course, your smile.

I still haven't gone to visit your gravesite. Even after all these years, I'm just not ready. Maybe one day soon....Until then, I'll hold onto all the good memories and the love. Most of all, the love.

Forever,

Your first-born daughter.

Here's a video I made a year after his death. Click through if you can't see it.

~Remembering Daddy.... from NONSuperwoman on Vimeo.

The Gift List: Capable Hands

Friday marks surgery day for this guy who has to have his tonsils and adenoids removed. He had a check up last week and he's all cleared to go.  I'm grateful for health insurance and capable doctors. I've already prayed for the surgeon and my son because I know that he will be in capable hands...God's hands.

Also thankful for....

#197-230

197. Staycations

198. Morning coffee brewing

199. The last sweet days of summer

200. Kids excited for church service.

201. The jasmine bush reblooming.

202. A surprise love note left by my oldest son.

203. 2yo saying "good bye pee paw (grandpa)."

204. Kneeling in prayer.

205. Falling into bed after a long, hard day.

206. Weeping enduring for a night BUT joy coming in the morning. 

207. Belly laughs shared amongst the boys.

208. 6yo clutching His Bible on the way to Saturday night church.

209. Quiet evening.

210. The weight of God's glory.

211. Sweet surrender.

212. Many waters cannot quench love neither can floods drown it.

213. Hands lifted in praise to God.

214. SoCal sunsets painted in the sky.

215. Satin pillowcases.

216. Shayne's little six-year-old voice.

217. My sister loving on my three babies.

218. A rhema Word from the Lord.

219. Two little boys exited about school. 

220. Godly teachers who pray.

221. Quiet time in the Word of God.

222. Six year old learning to ride his bike after much frustration.

223. Gratis days during Christmas time.

224. Thanksgiving day on the horizon.

225. The discipline of counting gifts big and small.

226. My little first grader's teacher describing him as "a treasure" to have in the class.

227. Waking to sunshine, birds chirping and new mercies.

229. Warm beds

230. ...and a pantry full of food.

231. Laughter and lunch with a sweet sister friend

232. Big brother reading with little brother.

233. Protection through the night.

234. Hope that does not disappoint.

235. "Thank you mommy for dinner!" repeated around the dinner table.

Makes Me Happy Monday (number 7)

It's finally Fall in SoCal y'all!

And it's Monday! Smile because it's going to be a great week. Here are a few links from around the web that made me smile.

Dad Captures His Daughter’s First Crawl on Camera…Then the Dog Congratulates Her 

12 Ways to Make (And Keep) Friends

Heartbreaking and sweet all at once: Video of father singing ‘Blackbird’ to dying son following wife’s death after childbirth goes viral 

This post was just what my weary momma heart needed. God has given us as mothers, the ability and call to organize and lead our home team to become a unit together–to live fully into our potentials. 

Think this pin will be my next home project. I love quotes and a whole wall of them sounds quite lovely.

And to wrap things up, here's a post from the vaults: Surprises Sometime Come In Bundles of Pink

Eleven Years Ago Today....

I gave birth to this guy.

I remember the fear. And the pain. And the overwhelming love.

So many emotions all rolled into one.

This one here is a reader, strong-willed, tender-hearted, driven and very funny. He's challenged me and grown me up in ways I never imagined. 

Happy 11th birthday Rhy!

He's been urging me to update, his birthday video, but until then....

Click here if video doesn't load.

Friendship: The Gift of Iron Sharpening Iron

If there's one area of my life that I'm blessed in it's the friendship arena. I've got a solid circle of friends who pray for and with me, encourage me and sharpen me. 

Today I had lunch with one of my dearest friends who was in town for a few days from Northern California. Our friendship spans more than 20 years. We've navigated the single life, went to college together, been in each other's weddings, and watched our children grow up. We laughed, giggled and caught up over lunch today. It was just what my weary soul needed. 

I'm convinced that good friends are beautifully wrapped gifts that God knew would bring us delight. 

"Iron sharpeneth iron; so a man sharpeneth the countenance of his friend." - Proverbs 27:17

The beautiful thing about having a friend in the Lord is that we sharpen each other on all levels (spiritual included). And as we share the Word (which is sharper than two-edged sword), we are sharpening each other all the more. 

God designed us with the need for fellowship and friendship. I love how he brings people into our lives whose hearts get woven into ours.

Thank you Cre for bringing smiles to my Saturday! Love you friend!

So Many Podcasts, So Little Time (A List of My Favorites)

I have to admit that I'm a podcast junkie. And it's not a new phenomenon. My love for radio and talk shows goes back to my college days. I used to rearrange my schedule so I could listen to my favorite show. In my 20s, when I started working full-time, I made sure my lunch coincided with the New Life Live broadcast so I'd never miss a show.

These days, I listen to podcasts while I'm making dinner, at work and during my short commute to and from work. I just love the wealth of information I can get from podcasts.

{My Favorites}

Inspired to Action: Great podcast for resource and inspiration for mothers. Always a good show filled with practical information that I can put into practice right away.

Revive Our Hearts: I love the sweet way that Nancy Leigh DeMoss imparts God’s Word to listeners. Always something encouraging and even when it’s convicting, it’s still helpful. 

The Portfolio Life: I’ve been reading Jeff Goins' blog for a while, but recently started listening to his podcast. Good solid, information for writers and just some uplifting messages for life in general. He says his goals are to help listeners: 1) Find the work you were born to do. 2) Identify what makes up your portfolio. 3) Get started creating it. The last podcast, The Importance of Being Your True Self really hit home. 

Homeword: Jim Burns’ broadcast has been a favorite of mine for years now. The tagline for his site is: Helping Families Succeed and he does just that with subjects like Parenting Tech Savvy Kids to Being the Parent Your Kids Really Need. I always look forward to this podcast. 

Compass Money Wise: This show is an extension of  show I used to listen to back in my single days. Solid and biblical financial advice from Howard Dayton & Steve Moore. 

{Family Life}

FamilyLife Today with Dennis Rainey: This one really should be on my favorites list because I listen to it all the time and enjoy it immensely. They always have the best guests who offer encouragement for marriage and family issues. 

Focus on the Family: This is another oldie but a goodie that I have listened to for years (back when Dr. James Dobson was the host). Always timely advice as it relates to family matters. 

I also enjoy their Focus on Marriage and Focus on Parenting podcasts 

Marriage Today with Jimmy and Karen: I used to watch their television broadcast, but when I found out about the podcast, I switched to that. Marriage advice from a couple who’s been there and back. 

Dr. James Dobson's Family Talk: Family talk with wise counsel. 

{Christian Living}

Passion City Church: Louie Giglio is one of the best communicators and pastors out there in my book. The Goliath Must Fall series has been my favorite thus far.

Building Relationships with Dr. Gary Chapman: A podcast offering insight and advice for relationships of every type.

{Writing}

Grammar Girl Quick and Dirty Tips for Better Writing: This one is for the writer geeks and wordsmiths of the world..like me! 

{Productivity}

This is Your Life: Michael Hyatt is an innovator who has a knack for lighting a fire under listeners with his practical, hands-on advice like How To Do More of What You Love and Less of What You Don’t. 

Achieve Your Goals with Hal Elrod: Sorta new to me podcast but I’ve enjoyed what I’ve heard thus far. 

{My Church Home}

I was so glad to find out Cottonwood Church, which is my home church,  had a podcast when I joined. I get to re-listen to messages that hit home and catch up on messages I missed. Kindred, the women’s ministry also has a podcast which is great because I’m not able to make these services: 

Do you listen to podcasts? If so, I’d love to hear what’s in your ear. If not, what kind of podcasts would be interested in listening to?

When the Road to Nowhere Opens Up

When I first got married, I didn’t have a job. So I settled into the role of housewife. Settled is probably the wrong word. I accepted my plight as housewife. But all around were voices (husband NOT included)  telling me I needed to get a job, help provide for the household...blah, blah, blah. By the time our first son came along two years later, I had happily accepted my role as stay-at-home mom. This after countless weeks, months even, searching for a job, any job. When one didn’t come, I realized I needed to stop stressing myself out over something that wasn’t happening.

One day while at home with my son, I received a phone call from the president of a large ministry here in Los Angeles. She had just had lunch with my former boss, who had recommended me for a job that she desperately wanted to fill. She asked if I’d be interested in the position. Above the din of two-year-old squeals. I agreed to meet her for an interview.

The interview went swimmingly. There was a daycare on site and the pay was far more than I would have ever asked for. And it was doing exactly what I wanted to do.

All that time I’d spent agonizing  over looking for a job just a few years before and here was a job that came knocking on my door.

O Lord, you have examined my heart and know everything about me.  You know when I sit or stand. When far away you know my every thought.  You chart the path ahead of me and tell me where to stop and rest. Every moment you know where I am. You know what I am going to say before I even say it.  You both precede and follow me and place your hand of blessing on my head. Psalm 139:1-5 Living Bible

God went before me and prepared the way for the job. He set up the lunch meeting. He put it on my new boss’ heart to tell my old boss about the job opening and he brought me to the conversation with a good referral. All the while, I was at home, oblivious to the path being charted ahead of me.

Even all these years later, the course of events blows my mind.

God knew that when I had a child my desire was to stay home with my baby and I got the chance to do just that. He knows everything about me...every single desire, even the unspoken ones.

Lately, I’ve been forgetting this fact about God: that He paves paths where none previously existed. That He goes behind us to make sure nothing is left behind as we travel upon that path.

The King James version of verse 5 says: Thou hast beset me behind and before. Beset comes from the Hebrew word tsuwr which means  to shut in or secure.

God doesn’t just lay a path out for us. He goes with us as He protects us and guides on the way so we aren’t led astray. If you are living for Jesus, don’t ever think that you are wandering aimlessly through this life. There’s a path with your name on it. Just when it looks like the bridge is broken and there’s no way over, He lights the way and shows us just what He had in store for us all along.

*photo credit Viktor Hanacek

Parents, We Are DoorKeepers To The World: Ushering Kids Into Endless Possibilities

As a mother, I realize I can shut the door of possibility or swing it wide open for my children. 

I pray that I always do the latter.

Looking back over my childhood, I see that my parents did a good job of holding the door open for me to experience new things. I think of a neighbor who lived across the street from us. At the time, she and her husband didn't have kids, so she took me under her wing. She would frequently invite me over to make gingerbread houses, allow me to explore her backyard as she explained all the blooming flowers in her backyard to me and would set up craft stations for us. My favorite was a hand-painted handkerchief that I made for my dad one year for Father's Day. We would often trek to the library where she would let me linger and then she'd allow me check out an armful of library books on her card. It was a rich experience and one that I wouldn't have had if my parents not let me hang out with her.

When I was in 11th grade, I joined a newly-formed college prep program called The Tanner Project (now known as the Willie B. Adkins Project.) We met every Monday after school for about three hours and worked on SAT prep, had guest speakers, seminars, learned about college life, how to fill out college forms, etiquette, how to dress for success and a host of other great information.

Every Spring, the predominately African-American staff (headed by educator Willie B. Adkins) rounded up the students for a tour of historically black colleges and universities.  In my two years with the program, I visited Alabama, Georgia, Maryland, Washington, D.C.  with college visits to campuses like Spelman, Tuskegee, Alabama State University, Howard and Morgan State University to name a few.

The experience was invaluable to say the least. And it was all offered for free.  I was already on the college track due to my own goals and lots of prodding from my parents, but this program exposed me to places I might not have considered.

The staff worked tirelessly to provide us with experiences that would make us well-rounded individuals and contributing members of society. And we still keep in touch to this day. As the first group of students to come out of the Tanner Project, we hold a special place in the staff's hearts and the feeling is mutual.

By the time, I was a senior in high school, I knew exactly what I wanted to do: major in journalism at Howard University and write for a major publication like Essence Magazine. On our college tour during the spring of my senior year, we visited schools in D.C. and Maryland. While on our tour of Howard, myself and few other of the students got to stop off at the admissions office to find out if we'd been accepted. Oh, the joy when I found out that I was. Talk about walking on cloud 9!

On the tour, we also hit most of D.C.'s historic stops: the Lincoln Memorial, the Washington Monument, the Capitol and even got to see the inner workings of the Congressional Black Caucus. 

Me at 17 years old on the steps of the Lincoln Memorial on the National Mall.

I got a front row seat to seeing that the world was a much bigger place than the small California town I lived in and I got to see that the possibilities for my future were endless. And none of this would have happened had my parents not given me wings to fly.

I pray that I do the same for my children. Yesterday on a talk show, I saw a mother talking about how she didn't want her 18-year-old daughter to go to college because she doesn't feel safe letting her go. We do our kids such a disservice when we smother them. How can they grow into world-changers if they are chained to the home front?

A few weeks ago, my six-year-old told me he wanted to visit China so he could have real Chinese food and see what it's like there. And I told him we are going to write that down on a goal sheet for him and make that happen. 

Do we have the resources to go to China? No. But that doesn't mean the resources aren't out there to get him (and me!) to China. 

The world and our view of our possibilities becomes much bigger when we are allowed to get out into it. May I always swing the door wide open from my home to the world for these children I'm raising.

Much thanks to Willie Adkins, his wife Maryann Adkins, Nona Cohen and Rhoda Dawson for all they poured into me and my fellow students during those years we were in the program.

Here's an older article about The Willie B. Adkins (Tanner Project) and information about the program in general if you'd like to contribute in any way.