currently: April 2015

Loving: My little girlie's frohawk that she rocked for Easter. I wanted to do something different and it turned out lovely. Lots of compliments. Funny thing is when I told her to go look at herself in the mirror she said, "I look crazy."

Finishing Up: Let Me Be a Woman by Elisabeth Elliot. I just have a few pages left and have to decide what to pick next. The decision is overwhelming because I have a stack of books on my nightstand and a bunch of downloaded books on my Kindle. I've decided I want to get back to basics and read some Christian classics so I've downloaded titles by Andrew Murray, Warren Wiersbe, Brother Lawrence, A.W. Tozer.

Watching: Born in the Wild. Cannot stop. It's like watching a train wreck. I want to turn away but just can't.

Listening to: Erica Campbell's I Luh God. The kids love it. Christians are downing it because it's trap music but I'd rather my kids sing this than CoCo which my first-grader said he's heard many of his classmates singing word for word. When my sister hipped me to the video I was appalled that adults would know this song word for word.

Recently: Joined Goodreads to keep track of the books I've read this year. Join me? https://www.goodreads.com/nonsuperwoman

Enjoying: the pretty colors of spring. Flowers are in full bloom in our backyard and the jasmine bush in the front yard is so fragrant.

Happy: I bought a big container of Chick-fil-A's polynesian sauce for home. My seven year old has been begging me to buy some for him and he eats it whenever we have chicken.

Looking forward to: Seeing Celine Dion in Vegas now that she's returned from her hiatus. Praying for God to provide the funds so I can make it a girl's trip with one of my favorite friends. 

Addicted: to Stella Pop. I downloaded it for the kids and I end up hiding in a corner to play it. I clearly have a problem.

What's current with you?

The Beauty (& Benefits) of Memorizing Scripture

Time and time again, I've attempted to memorize big chunks of scripture, only to fail. Sure, I have lots of scripture committed to memory. But not whole books. The boys have to memorize weekly Bible verses as part of their curriculum at school, so I always thought this would be a good motivator. It never was.

Recently, my online gal pal Kim Cash Tate (a gifted Christian book author by the way) shared a video about her tips for memorizing scripture. That video re-ignited the flame. And it's funny how something as simple as spiral bound index cards helped me tremendously!

A few weeks back I started memorizing the book of Ephesians. I'm still early in the book, but I'm okay with the progress thus far. I've discovered that giving myself a deadline to memorize verses was stressful and counterproductive. Instead, I move on to the next set of verses once I feel I've gotten a good understanding of the verses. I don't just want to memorize for memorization sake. I want to have a clear and deep understanding of what I'm memorizing. I'm finding that this method is helping those verses to stick!

Benefits I'm discovering:

• Revelation comes from pondering the same scripture over and over. I've read Ephesians numerous times, but with more reading comes a deeper revelation of the verses.
• Verses pop up in my heart just when I need them. Verses that seem insignificant take on great importance when the Holy Spirit brings them back at just the right moment.  
• I can spot errors.  Reading verses over and over in context can help you spot when it's pulled out of context or when it's misinterpreted.
• You can teach it to your kids.  What I know for sure, I can surely pass on to the kids. Instead of looking it up, I have it right in my head (and heart!)

The System That's Working for Me:

• Spiral bound index cards: I write down two verses per card and carry it around with me. I prop it up while I'm getting ready in the morning, on the nightstand and on my desk at work. Since I'm a visual learner, seeing it constantly works best for me.
• I also like to listen to the audio version. YouVersion (the app and web version) has audio versions of various translations. I like to listen and say the verses along with the narrator. I'm currently memorizing the ESV translation but am considering switching to KJV since I've discovered that a lot of verses that I already know are in this translation. 
• I'm also loving the BibleMinded app for the times when I just have my phone but not my index cards. It provides virtual memory cards with verses as well as fill-in-the blank "quizzes" and I can test my memory by typing the verses out.

Do you memorize scripture? If so, I'd love to hear your tips as to how you do it!

The Holy Ground of Housework (and other Mundane Work)

It's been a string on extraordinarily ordinary days lately.

Laundry. Homework. School drop offs. Packing lunches. Work. Making dinner.

Repeat.

It's easy to get exasperated and overwhelmed with the daily routines. Mounds of laundry. The piles of dirty dishes. The discipline that has to be doled out daily. 

But God never designed it to be this way. 

Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men, knowing that from the Lord you will receive the inheritance as your reward. You are serving the Lord Christ. (‭Colossians‬ ‭3‬:‭23-24‬ ESV)  

We are given grace to do the hard things. And grace to do the mundane things that can wear us out. Every toilet cleaned, every dinner cooked and every correction made is an act or service in God's eye and one that doesn't go unnoticed. So I'm not working for my family, I'm serving the Lord.

When I view mundane acts in this light, the kitchen become holy ground, as does the laundry room and every other area where I'm tempted to think it simply drudge work.  

When offered up to God, even the every day tasks can be holy.

Mopping the floors is ministry? Sounds ludicrous. And it felt especially ludicrous to me as I mopped floors this weekend only to find them dirtied by three sets of little feet this week. But bless God those little feet who can dirty and who are still here alive and breathing. That I get to provide a clean, stable and loving home for them is an honor. An honor that many women want, but can't have. 

Every act of service is counted worthy in God's eye. This small shift in perspective has changed my grumbling into holy wonder. God sees every little act I do and He honors it.

“This job [of motherhood] has been given to me to do. Therefore, it is a gift. Therefore, it is a privilege. Therefore, it is an offering I may make to God. Therefore, it is to be done gladly, if it is done for Him. Here, not somewhere else, I may learn God’s way. In this job, not in some other, God looks for faithfulness.” 
― Elisabeth Elliot

Standing Close to Jesus' Cross

..but standing by the cross of Jesus were his mother and his mother's sister, Mary the wife of Clopas, and Mary Magdalene.  John 19:25

As Jesus hung on the cross, his mother stood at the foot of the cross.

She wasn't flailing and wailing. She wasn't fainting and falling out. She was standing.

I marvel at her strength in a very dark hour. She'd been there in His glory as He performed miracles. She also stood watching her son dying on the cross as the will of God was taking place. 

What a model of unwavering strength and faith! May we all learn to stand firmly like Mary through the trials of our own lives.

"Strong women. May we know them. May we raise them. May we be them."

* * *

One last thing: I wrote a guest post titled When Faith Flounders for Val's 40 Days of Faith series on her blog Living My Faith. You can find it here.

The Gift List: Don't Let Me Lose My Wonder

Last week's SoCal sky

"When the fear of the Lord is forgotten-we no longer catch our breath at the sight of a rainbow or the scent of a rose, as we once did… We no longer run our fingers through the water, no longer shout at the stars , or make faces at the moon. Certainly, the new can amaze us: the latest computer game, the softest diaper. Till tomorrow, till the new becomes old, till yesterday's wonder is discarded or taken for granted.

As civilization advances, the sense of wonder declines. We get so preoccupied with ourselves, the words we speak, the plans and projects we conceive that we become immune to the glory of creation. We barely notice the cloud passing over the moon or the dewdrops clinging to the rose leaves. The ice on the pond comes and goes. The wild black­berries ripen and wither. The blackbird nests outside our bed­room window: We don't see her. We avoid the cold and the heat. We refrigerate ourselves in summer and entomb our­selves in plastic in winter. We rake up every leaf as fast as it falls. We are so accustomed to buying prepackaged meats and fish and fowl in supermarkets we never think and blink about the bounty of Gods creation. We grow complacent and lead practical lives. We miss the experience of awe, reverence, and wonder!" ~ Brennan Manning, The Ragamuffin Gospel

Continuing to look up and count gifts....

#281-308

281. Being reminded to be kind and patient by my seven-year-old son. 

282. Piles of books waiting to be read.

283. Abundant sunshine.

284. Sandals and sundresses in March.

285. Loads of clean laundry: we are clothed.

286. Dishes in the sink: we are fed.

287. Dirty handprints on walls: happy, playful children live here.

288. Bible stories on audiobooks for the kids to enjoy.

289. Reminders from seven-year-old to say grace before eating.

290. An 11-year-old who can recite scripture. 

291. The living Word hidden in little hearts.

292. A day off to nap, read and do nothing. 

293. Chats with old friends.

294. One of the kids chatting in their sleep.

295. Waking to a smiling two-year-old at my bedside in the morning.

296. Hugs shared among siblings.

297. Every kid healthy again.

298. The rustling of thin Bible pages during Saturday night church service.

299. A pastor who kneels in prayer during service.

300. The gift of rest.

301. Learning to suffer well for Christ.

302. Lord, Don't Let Me Lose My Wonder

303. Jesus Loves Me sung over a sleepy two year old.

304. “Father, let me be weak that I might loose my clutch on everything temporal. My life, my reputation, my possessions, Lord, let me loose the tension of the grasping hand.” -Jim Elliot

305. A deep abiding love for holiness.

306. Husband's hand in mine.

307. Bathtub full of clean running water.

308. Mornings full of chirping birds...spring is near!

What wonders are you beholding?

Three Things

1. This  happened yesterday.

Our 11 year old got baptized in Jesus' name. Such rejoicing and joy! It was his choice alone.  He'd been asking to for quite some time. Just wanted to make sure he was at a place where he was ready and understood the choice he was making. My cousin called me yesterday afternoon and said her daughter saw my post about his baptism on Instagram and had quite a few questions about baptism and why he did it. When asked if she wanted to get baptized too, she said no, but then quickly changed her answer to yes. Amazing how one act of obedience can have a ripple effect like that. 

2. This quote.

"Some knowledge is too heavy...you cannot bear it...your Father will carry it until you are able.” 
― Corrie ten Boom, The Hiding Place

3. This blog post.

The Gospel of Genesis 13: 'It’s impossible for us to empty ourselves because we’re constantly so full of ourselves. None of us can give up everything. Before Christ, we are sinners — dead and full of utter need. But even after Christ has justified us, until he comes back to vanquish sin finally and fully, we still wrestle with our sin. We are sinner-saints. So some days we’re the Abram of Genesis 13 but most days we’re the Abram of Genesis 12."

currently: february 2015

Reading: Two books at once: These Strange Ashes and Let Me Be a Woman by Elisabeth Elliot. I mentioned in my last post how influential her teaching has been in my life and revisiting her work has been refreshing for my soul. I’m especially loving Let Me Be a Woman. It’s a book of “letters” she wrote to her daughter as a wedding gift full of insight and wisdom about womanhood, marriage and home life.

Watching: Tons and tons of HGTV. Since I’m a cord cutter, I haven’t been able to watch HGTV except old episodes on Netflix. I recently signed up for a 7-day free trial for Sling TV which is now on Roku that includes the cable channel HGTV among other things. The boys love Disney and Cartoon Network, so I decided to keep it. At $20, it wasn’t’ too much and that brings the total TV bill to $36.That’s manageable compared to the $100+ cable bill we used to have.

Listening to: All of the United Pursuit albums. I even created a playlist because the worship is just so sweet to me. My favorite is: Live at the Banks House by Will Reagan and United Pursuit. I just downloaded Virtue’s new album Testimony Reloaded which is playing as I’m typing.  And just pre-ordered Tyrone Wells’ new album Roll With It. Four songs came with the pre-order so I’m pretty much in heaven.

Loving: my Kate Spade planner. It fits in my purse and keeps me from being a crazy lady (most of the time).

Enjoying: The Thru the Bible podcast by Dr. J. Vernon McGee. I’m listening to his through the Bible in five year lessons. He’s now on the book of James. Growing up, my mother used to listen to him religiously. As a kid, I always found his voice comforting during car rides with my mother. Now that I’m grown, I see why she always listened. He has such knowledge about the Word.

Shopping: at the Goodwill. Since that middle child of mine likes to wears holes in the knees of perfectly good jeans, I decided jeans from the Goodwill would suffice for his play pants. Little did I know the treasures there. I used to thrift years ago. It looks like the flame has been re-ignited. I’ve found some cute dresses, some brand new items for me and baby girl as well as two pair of almost new Levi’s for her. I stop in regularly now and it might be a borderline addiction. The items below were all $2 each. Can't be that.

What's new in your world?

Drinking From a Deep Well of Wisdom: The Teachings of Elisabeth Elliot

I've never met Elisabeth Elliot. But in my head she's my mentor and friend.

Her teaching style is practical, biblical and refreshing in a day and age when many don't teach simple truths from the Bible like how to be a woman, tending to home and how God can use our pain as a platform for His glory.

In my 20s, I used to listen to her daily radio broadcast Gateway to Joy when I could catch it. Last year, BBN radio started broadcasting her show again and I now listen regularly via their app. Listening in has come to be the favorite part of my day. And I've been reacquainting myself with her writings. I'm currently reading: The Path of Loneliness: Finding Your Way Through the Wilderness to God. It's a lesson-filled work on how God can use loneliness of every sort (from rejection, singleness, moving to a new place, etc) to work out great blessing in our lives.

In the book she writes: “Loneliness is one kind of ‘dying’ most of us learn about sooner or later. Far from being ‘bad’ for us, a hindrance to spiritual growth, it may be the means of unfolding spiritual ‘blossoms’ hitherto enfolded…”

I can't pinpoint any other woman who's ministry and teaching has impacted me as deeply as Elisabeth Elliot's. 

Her life is a study in joyful surrender. It's the kind of surrender I want in my own life. So I turn her words over and over in my head and turn to to the scriptures she mentions to see them in the light that she held them up in.

If you don't know about Elisabeth Elliot, a quick Google search will acquaint you with her remarkable life.

She was a missionary in Ecuador more than 50 years ago when her first husband was killed by the Indian tribe they were trying share the Gospel with. Elisabeth ended up staying there with her young daughter and ministered to the same tribe that murdered her husband. She eventually remarried years later only to be widowed after her second husband died of cancer. She married again but at 88 years old suffers from dementia which brought her teaching to a halt more than a decade ago. All seems like a cruel hand of fate, but if you read her books and hear her teach, you will learn that for her "in acceptance, lieth peace." And there was (and is) no shaking her fist at the sky and cursing God for the turn of events in her life. God shines through every broken part of her story.

She has written more than 25 books (a few which are staples in my library.) And on her website are archives of her newsletter which went out for many years which include more golden nuggets of wisdom.

I've always loved the knowledge that older women have and when I was younger enjoyed spending time with the aged mothers of our church to glean from them. Reading Elisabeth Elliot is just like sitting with those church mothers.

I hope you get acquainted with her and find something from her teachings that suit your fancy.

Who are some women you look up to and like to glean from? Do share!

How a Little Loss Taught Us a Big Lesson

Our family suffered a loss this weekend.

Gubbles the family fish passed away. 

Things started going downhill when he was sent to my mother-in-law's house for a week while we went to the Bay Area for a family visit during the Christmas break. He wasn't his normal self when he returned. And weeks later, he got worse.  This weekend, the downhill trend continued with erratic behavior: him diving to the bottom of the fish bowl and then swimming furiously to the top until he finally just stopped swimming. 

My oldest son won him as a prize at summer camp almost two years ago. I was so against the idea of a fish. But he stepped up and took great care of him. He fed him on schedule and cleaned his bowl regularly. I was impressed.

My son had grown attached to the fish, almost like he was the family puppy. So when he started declining he took it hard.....even broke down at church two weekends ago while requesting prayer for the fish. Sounds crazy, I know, but that's how attached he was. Even family members urged me to buy a new fish to swap out for Gubbles. But there was no way I was going to do that. And if I did, how many times would I have to do it so he would't have to face loss?

My son is 11 and that's old enough to know that loss happens. It's a part of the cycle of life. 

Sure, I wanted to protect him from the pain, but it is inevitable. And protecting him from the pain of life is not my job as a parent--preparing him for it is.

So we talked about the average life span of a fish, which is two years maximum. We discussed how he'd taken great care of the fish and grew into a responsible pet owner. We talked about losing something (or someone) we have become attached to while holding on to the memories. We talked about what it would look like when the fish did eventually die.

When it happened, he was prepared. Heartbroken, but prepared. As a parent, I want to protect my kids from so many things: the mean kid who speaks the truth with harsh words, being chosen last for a game or broken hearts from love that isn't returned. But I know doing that will only handicap them. Of course, there are things I absolutely want to protect them from: pornography, child predators, drug use. The key is knowing where to draw the line.

The older they get, the more of life my little ones are exposed to and it's downright scary as a parent. But what would be even scarier is sending them out into the world without being equipped to handle the hard edges that are part of living in this world.

My prayer lately has been for wisdom to guide them and equip them with knowledge and the sense enough to back up when I need to. This parenting gig is a constant balance of holding close when necessary and letting go when it's time.