Living With Hands Wide Open

Surrender.
Such a beautiful concept. But such a hard act.
I find myself praying, hands clutched together tightly.
God says surrender. I say I am…I’m praying.
But how can I surrender when I’m holding so tightly onto what I want Him to handle?
Reminds me of my three-year-old. She’ll ask for help but then is reluctant to hand over the very thing she needs help with…afraid that she may not get it back. I reassure her I’m trying to help as I pry whatever it is out of her little hand.

I don’t want what I think I should have. I want what God knows I should have.

Daily I'm learning and relearning how to let go.

There's a sweetness in surrender: trusting my situation to a God who is totally trust-able. But there's also fear that it won't turn out like *I'd* planned it. 

Elisabeth Elliot said, " “If we hold tightly to anything given to us unwilling to allow it to be used as the Giver means it to be used we stunt the growth of the soul. What God gives us is not necessarily "ours" but only ours to offer back to him, ours to relinguish, ours to lose, ours to let go of, if we want to be our true selves. Many deaths must go into reaching our maturity in Christ, many letting goes.” 

My prayer is: may I leave all in the Hands that were wounded for me.