How I Watch What I Feed My Kids (The Music Edition)

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We don't listen to mainstream radio around here. 

Crazy, I know. It's just that some of the music on radio today isn't good for my kids' soul. Heck, it isn't even good for my soul. 

Even though mainstream radio is not played around here, that's not to say my kids live in a bubble. They are very aware of popular music. They watch Vevo (mainly pre-approved playlists created for them) and have friends who know the latest music. We even listen to lots of pop and R&B music. I just try to be conscious of what we are playing. For example, we listen to a very small handful of C.hris Brown songs that I think fall in neutral territory. And if the lyrics just aren't appropriate, I will download an instrumental version if the beat is just too irresistible for them to resist.

Instead of listening to music based on its genre or the lifestyle of the entertainer, we look at the music for face value. There are lots of gospel songs sung by folks who are not living righteous lives and there is some gospel music that is not scripturally correct. This is why we don't live by the "gospel music only" rule that my church laid down as I was growing up. It's just not realistic to think that kids are going to only listen to church music when there's a whole world of great music out there.

A while back the boys asked to download D.rake's CD. I wasn't very familiar with D.rake's lyrics, so I downloaded a clean version. That should have been my first clue that things weren't right. The boys and I listened. I told them, we would have to cut D.rake out of the rotation because even though it was clean it certainly wasn't appropriate for them or me.

I'm sure most parents think me a prude. But I want my kids to watch what they're feeding themselves when it comes to entertainment. 

Instead of telling the boys no right away when they ask to watch or listen to something, I ask them, "do you think this is appropriate?" Most times, they know the answer right away. I don't want to be the music or movie police because soon they'll be making their own entertainment choices. I'm hoping by giving them guidelines that they'll make good choices through the teen years and beyond. Plus, I know that when they do get filled with the Holy Spirit, He will convict them of their choices better than I ever could.

When I do have to say no, I do offer alternatives for them. I'm glad to say the alternatives are always enjoyed.

Here are some of the positive and/or Christian artists that the kids enjoy when mainstream music crosses the line:

They also enjoy lots of Kierra Sheard, Virtue (new music coming from them soon!), Fred Hammond, Kirk Franklin, Mary Mary and listen to 95.9 The Fish when we do turn on the radio. 

The Gift List: Clothed with Strength and Dignity

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I keep this laminated scripture card in the front of my planner as a reminder of who I am and how I am to be in the world.

I love that the verse says the Proverbs 31 woman is dressed with strength and dignity. Brand name clothes are great but nothing beats dressing up in these virtues. 

"And she laughs without fear of the future..." Instead of looking to the future with apprehension, she faces it with rejoicing knowing that all will be well.  I take great comfort in that.

Still counting God's best gifts to me:

#131-150

131. Little toddler feet running through the house calling "Mommy! Mommy?"

132. My phone ringing with my mother on the other end just as I was about to call her.

133. Gentle correction from the Holy Spirit.

134. Prayers offered up in faith and trust.

135. A Bible teaching church.

136. Belly laughs with friends across the miles.

137. Text messages from my oldest in the middle of the day.

138. Summer sunshine

139. And kids in backyard kiddie pools splashing water.

140. Rediscovering an old (and favorite) book.

141. My grandmother's china set in the cabinet.

142. An extra few minutes of sleep.

143. An encouraging reminder that God is with us.

144. Morning hugs

145. Sweet anticipation.

146. Hot cup of coffee brewed just right.

147. My boss praying during a meeting.

148. Little boys who help their tired momma.

149. A good night's sleep after an exhausting day.

150. Blue skies for miles.

Life According to Instagram: July 2014 edition

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I love the little happy snippets of life that are captured on Instagram. 

  1.  Toy shopping for girls is fun. I love being a girl mom.
  2. Baby girl is such a comforter...especially when a brother has a meltdown.
  3. I love Saturday night church!
  4. Been trying to slow down for bedtime stories.
  5. Celebrated baby girl's two years on the blog.
  6. Enjoyed great SoCal weather on baby girl's second birthday.
  7. Chuck E. Cheese on a Monday is a great place to be. So empty.
  8. Life is messy most days.
  9. Happy birthday to me! 
  10. Celebrated our pastor's return to the pulpit after a bad boating accident.
  11. Tea anyone?
  12. Little helpers in the kitchen are always welcome.
  13. 1st time meeting over dessert with long-time online friend Adrienne (she's a gem).
  14. Lots of park time this summer to wear the kids out.
  15. I just love her.
  16. The boys NOT bickering for a change....miracles do exist.
  17. Nutella popsicles are EVERYthang.
  18. Lunch with Mrs. Count another long time blog friends. Our kids hit it off.
  19. Slaters 50/50 in Pasadena is heavenly...and I'm not even a burger lover.
  20. Entered a giveaway because I want and need the ESV Journaling Bible.
  21. Soul food

You can find me on Instagram all the time.

What's In a Name? More than We Think (On Mastering the Art of Naming Our World)

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Copyright 2011 The Zondervan Corporation

Copyright 2011 The Zondervan Corporation

God gave Adam the authority to name His creation.

"Out of the ground the Lord God formed every beast of the field and every bird of the air, and brought them to Adam to see what he would call them. And whatever Adam called each living creature, that was its name. So Adam gave names to all cattle, to the birds of the air, and to every beast of the field. But for Adam there was not found a helper comparable to him."

God gave Adam the authority to name.

This means as a descendant of Adam, I also have the authority to name that which is set before me. I can name the circumstances I face. I can call them negative or I can name them according to what God says. 

"And whatever Adam called each living creature, that was its name."

That's how powerful the naming authority is.

God gave Adam a great example when He named creation.

Gen. 1:5, "And God called the light day, and the darkness He called night."

Gen. 1:8, "And God called the expanse heaven."

Gen. 1:10, "And God called the dry land earth, and the gathering of the waters He called seas."

He named it and so it was.

I think of all the things I've named dead, bad, impossible, too far gone....that should be named good, possible, within reach. Instead of naming my doubts and fears. I've got to start naming God's promises over every single thing in my life.

The naming process is important to God. Abram the fatherless at age 99 becomes Abraham (father of many nations); Jacob the manipulator becomes Israel (a prince of God), and Simon, known for his instability, becomes Peter (rock). God looks at what is to be and name's according to that (not what is seen with the eye). 

It's so easy to name what my eye sees and not according to faith. That's not how the authority that God gave me works.

So many times I carelessly name things only to become frustrated when circumstances become that which I've named it. There's lots that needs to be named (and re-named) in my life. Let me get to it.

On Leaving the Black Church: It Just Seemed Good

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My pastor Bayless Conley preaching my soul happy. (photo credit: Cottonwood Church Instagram feed)

My pastor Bayless Conley preaching my soul happy. (photo credit: Cottonwood Church Instagram feed)

Three years ago I made one of the hardest decisions of my life. I left my predominately black Apostolic/Pentecostal church for a non-denominational predominately white church.

*gasp*

It sort of happened by accident...but then not really.

I 'd been feeling out of sorts at my home church. The church I joined when I first moved to Southern California fresh out of college. The church that my childhood pastor from home approved of. The church I got married at and where my first-born was dedicated. The church where I served diligently and forged deep friendships. The church that fed my soul week after week.

I couldn't explain it but I just knew it was time to go. Nothing was wrong, it just started to feel like it didn't fit anymore. But no one leaves a perfectly good church for no good reason.

Except I did.

One day my mother in law invited me to her church. I went because I wasn't planning on going to my own church so any church seemed better than staying at home.

Honestly (and arrogantly) I didn't expect much.  But when I walked into that church the Holy Spirit met me there like I'd never expected Him to. I was astonished at the teaching (which I should't have been because I watched the Pastor occasionally when I'd get ready for my own church service on Sundays.) The word taught was so good that I kept going back again and again until I couldn't deny the fact that this is where I wanted to be. It was like a feast was spread out  every week that left me satisfied and hungry for more at the same time. Turns out that the pastor came from a Pentecostal background which explained the church's wholehearted embrace of the Holy Spirit, speaking in tongues and being baptized.

This past Saturday night, my pastor taught on the subject: Following the Call of God.

He pointed out that sometimes God guides us intuitively by the Holy Spirit through "what seems good to us."

Acts 15:22 says: "Then it seemed good to the apostles and the elders, with the whole church, to choose men from among them to send to Antioch with Paul and Barnabas-- Judas called Barsabbas, and Silas, leading men among the brethren."

God didn't send an earthquake to confirm that men from their group should go on this important ministry trip to non-Jewish believers. The Bible says, the decision was based on what seemed good.

And again in verse 25: "it seemed good to us, being assembled with one accord, to send chosen men to you with our beloved Barnabas and Paul."

Once more in verse 28: "It seemed good to the Holy Spirit and to us not to burden you with anything beyond the following requirements: You are to abstain from food sacrificed to idols, from blood, from the meat of strangled animals and from sexual immorality. You will do well to avoid these things."

God's leading isn't always life shattering. Sometimes He speaks subtly and intuitively to us and all we know is that it seems good to us. God guides us even when we're not conscious of it. There will be areas of our lives where there's a definite sense of God's involvement and approval, but it there's no dictate from on high about it. That's why we need the Holy Spirit because He guides those things that seem good into the right place. Of course, there are some things that seem good that clearly are not. The inner witness of the Holy Spirit will give an amen to the correct "seem good."

For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago. There is a plan for all of us who walk with God--a plan that was established long before we knew about it. And God's got a plan to get us to those good things. It may come through a burning bush. Or a word spoken through a preacher. Or through what seems good.

When we agree with where the Holy Spirit is leading it just feels right. There is no organ at the church I attend now, but I love the worship service so much. There are no church members dancing or running the aisles but I feel the presence of the Holy Spirit in such a powerful way at my "new" church. Many blessings have come from moving on. One Sunday, my oldest and I went and sat in the service and he turned to me and said, "I just want to cry because it's just so beautiful in here." That was further proof that a move seemed good.

From here on out, I won't be afraid of what seems good as long as I get an amen from the Holy Spirit. 

 

The Gift List: Giving Birth to Fearless

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fearless.jpg

Most of my life I've struggled with fear.

Not a pretty thing to admit, but it's the truth.

So it's pretty laughable that God would make me the mother of a little girl who is the epitome of fearless. She's the child who takes on the biggest slide at the park and climbs the highest thing she can find. I find myself in this crazy dance of trying to keep her safe without squashing her fearlessness.

As I watch my littlest baby girl tackle big things without flinching, it's challenging me in ways I'd never imagined. I see her taking on things I think are too big for her with thoughtful calculation. I know I can do this to--if I use the same thoughtful calculation. I now find myself praying for things that I think are too big and grand because truly, our fear is only as big as we make it out to be.

Grateful to be the channel that this fearless girl came through. Thankful for the fearlessness she's inspiring in me. And still counting down God's gifts to me:

#111-130

111. Sleeping in past 7:00 a.m.

112. Celebrating two years with this little girl of mine.

113. Sunday afternoon at the park with three happy kids.

114. One of my all-time favorite songs on repeat

115. Finally meeting my long-time blog friend over dessert while she was in California last week.

116. Slipping a dollar under my six year old's pillow...another tooth lost.

117. Caretakers who genuinely care for my babies.

118. Shaved ice over a scoop of vanilla ice cream.

119. Long distance phone calls from loved ones.

120. Reaching another year lived and

121. Grateful for health and strength.

122. A short 15-minute commute to work.

123. An encouragement to go deeper in prayer.

124. A birthday shopping trip courtesy of my husband

125. Which turned into a day to myself.

126. Floors swept clean and mopped too.

127. The sound of the UPS truck delivering goodies.

128. A little sister walking through the house calling for her brothers.

129. Staying up late because the book is that good.

120. The honor of cooking meals for my family.

The Problem with Inspirational & Why I'm Ditching It for a While

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The other day a friend of mine T. McFaddin Ordell posted this thought of hers on Instagram. Fitting for how I've been feeling lately.

Today I woke up and decided to delete subscriptions to some inspirational text messages and devotionals I've been receiving.

I've been feeling the need to stop snacking on all that and feast on God's Word alone. For me, that means just meeting God in the Word and waiting for Him to speak directly to me.

I found that it was so easy for me to feed my soul on spiritual fast food in the form of: inspirational quotes, devotionals, motivational text messages and scripture of the day emails. I felt like I was being hand-fed revelation that someone else received instead of the personal conversation that God wanted to have with me through His Word.

We live in a generation that thrives on sound bites and 140-character messages that can be quickly scrolled through. I'll be the first to admit, I love Twitter and a well-versed quote. And there's nothing wrong with those things, but sometimes God wants to meet us on the back side of the desert one-on-one so He can address what's going with us personally. Matthew 4:4 says:

“Jesus answered, “The Scriptures say:
’No one can live only on food.
People need every word that God has spoken.’”

I need every word that God has spoken. I need it more than my favorite devotional and more than the cleverly-spoken inspirational quotes from today's mainstream pastors. 

Just as soon as I ditched all the stuff that was coming between me and God's direct voice, I opened up my Bible and He spoke to me so clearly from the book of Haggai. Of course, I probably would have never gone to that book to get a tailor-made word for myself but that's where it came from.

Sometimes we need to get back to basics and ditch the inspirational for the One who truly inspires.

 

 

july :: currently

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Loving: Celebrating the kids and their milestones. Baby girl blew out her birthday candles all by herself (much to the surprise of her brothers who thought they needed to help her) and enjoyed each one of her gifts. Meanwhile, the six-year-old had his second loose tooth accidentally kicked out by baby girl. I was so relieved because he was driving me crazy with that loose tooth. And I'm happy to report the tooth fairy actually had a dollar in her purse to slip under his pillow that night.

Enjoying: The Humans of New York Instagram feed. Every single person on this planet has a story. These are captured beautifully. 

Feeling: Mommy guilt. I moved baby girl to a new daycare this week at the boys' school. I feel like I've moved her away from everything familiar. Then the other day she cried at drop off. I know she'll adjust but it still doesn't ease that mommy guilt.

Reading: Blogs as usual. Here are a two new ones I've stumbled across that I've been enjoying: Apples of Gold, Lisha Epperson.

Thinking about: The upcoming school year already. School starts the week of Labor Day for the boys, but that will be here in just a blink. Soon it will be time to buy school supplies, uniforms, socks and such. Gearing up for it now.

Listening to: A lot of different stuff. What's in rotation now is Kindred's A Couple Friends, Audrey Assad's Fortunate Fall, Coldplay's Ghost Stories and Mali Music's Mali Is.

Watching: Wife Swap. The episode I'm watching as I type this features Barry Williams and Joe Piscopo. Hilarious and fascinating. Is this stuff made up?

Listening to the Little People in My World

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This kid here can talk my ear off. He's never runs out of words. He'll go on and on about M.inecraft and Wii.U games and Super Mario and Spiderman and every fact about every thing he's stumbled across.

He's got the gift of gab.

I hate to admit that sometimes I tune him out. When he was a toddler and the only child I had 24/7, I was interested in every word and thought of his. I need to tune back in, sit down with him and just listen. He's 10 1/2 and the time I have left with him before he leaves the house is less than the time I've had him. Soon, he'll be chatting up his friends and girls and I won't have an inside track to his life.

Just this week, we had a rousing game of M.ario Kart 8 on Wii.U. Great fun! I've been listening to the details about his favorite game commentator on You.Tube and been answering his non-stop questions. I never want him to think that what he has to say isn't important.

Being intentional about listening has helped me to see what an awesome little guy he is.