I Don't Want to be That Mom Who Stands on the Sidelines

Aging is a crazy thing. Lately, I've been finding myself saying, "I don't do that anymore" to a myriad of things like: riding roller coasters, wearing shorts & bathing suits, and other ridiculous things.

Yesterday, we spent the day at Newport Beach. I usually wear a casual summer dress or a tank top and capri-like pants...but I stepped out of my fear box and wore a bathing suit (one that I've had for years with the tags still on it). And tried my hand at boogie boarding. I had set up in my mind that I was too old, too pudgy, too (fill in the blank) to do such things. I'm trying to figure out when I put myself in a box. I guess that doesn't matter much. What's most important is that I work on getting out.

I never really thought I'd be like this at my age. When I was younger, I was more apt to take risks and just do things afraid. I was the girl who went to college clear across the country, then packed up my bags and moved to Los Angeles. The girl who would attend movie premieres alone without fear or insecurity. The girl who would jump in her car and drive until I got lost and then explore the city (and this all without GPS).

Somewhere along the way I fell into this mommy mode. I found myself sitting on the sidelines watching my kids do things and rooting them on instead of participating. Yesterday, was a good example for me that age and mommyhood and a bigger waistline don't have to make me feel like I'm just relegated to the sidelines. No, I'm not a size 6 anymore and no I don't have the desire to ride the scariest roller coasters all day, but that doesn't mean every falls into the  "I can't category." It felt good to put on my I-will-try-it hat. My kids weren't concerned that their mom didn't look like a supermodel. Instead, they'll remember me running along the beach with them, throwing a frisbee and just being involved with them. 

Maybe you have put yourself (or parts of yourself) in an altogether different box. Perhaps you're in a geographic box or a financial box or a cultural box. It's never to let to break out....even if it's a small step like getting on that boogie board and at least trying. 

Impressing God's Word on Little Hearts

As mommas, we are careful to teach our kids while they're young.

We teach them to brush their teeth. Wash behind their ears. Ties their shoes. Chew with their mouths closed. We teach them to say please and thank you. We do our best to equip for the world.

I realized I was going to great lengths to teach them all I could about how to navigate this big world they'll soon be facing on their own, but I was neglecting the most necessary thing: the Word of God.

Before baby girl was born, I would spend time in the Bible with the boys. But three kids + a tired momma soon squeezed out any extra energy I had for walking with them through the Bible. That is until I got a quiet nudging from the Holy Spirit recently.

Deuteronomy 6: 4-9: 

Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one.  Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Write them on the door frames of your houses and on your gates.

My kids go to a Christian school, but it's not the school's responsibility to teach MY children about the Word. We got to church every week, but it's not on the church to be the primary teacher of my children about God. Our role as parents is to impress God's word upon our children's heart.

Sure, we can wait until they get older and let them decide for themselves, but that's not what the Bible requires. Waiting means the impressionable years would have since passed and getting that Word on their hearts is not such an easy task then.

I believe we are to impress the Word on our children's hearts when they're young because that's when it will make its mark best. I think about all the Play Doh that the boys have played with down through the years. New Play Doh is so lovely. It's soft and moldable in your hands. A joy to play with. They would mold the clay in their hands and then stamp it with designs or carve smiles on Play Doh people. Down the line, the new Play Doh would get left out, the tops not put on tightly resulting in dry, hard balls of clay. Hard to mold and carve Play Doh when it's old. It's mostly just a crumbly mess that has to be tossed. 

I see my kids hearts like that new Play Doh: pliable and totally ready for the Word of God.  This is is why I'm taking every effort to impress it upon their little hearts right now.

So every night before bed, this tired momma pulls out the Bible, gathers the little people and we walk through the Scriptures as they are read aloud. And last night, wouldn't you know what our Bible verses were? Deuteronomy 6: 4-9. Just a little confirmation that I'm doing what I'm supposed to be doing.

And as I asked the boys what this verse meant to them, my oldest recited word for word a New Testament verse that supported what we were studying.

My making an impression is not in vain. And our time together has become a welcome part of their day.

I'm making it my business to walk and talk the Word of God not just during our evening Bible study but also when we're sitting at home and when we are riding in the car. When we wake up and as we get ready for bed. I want their roots to run deep and for them to have a genuine love for God's Word....not just on Sundays (or Saturday nights which is when we go to church). I want the Bible to be woven into their every day lives. 

Life Without Cable: One Year Later

Let me start by saying this: I do not miss having cable one bit.

Last year, after cutting cable service down from multiple TVs to one, the bill was still $50 a month for basic cable. That's $600 a year that is now being saved. Nope, don't miss it at all.

I wrote about cutting the cord and really, I wish we would have down it sooner.

Here are a few things I've learned in the past year:

• You Don't Have to Have Cable to Be Happy....or to Be Kept in the Loop

Somehow, I thought the kids were going to suffer or miss out on something. A few months back, I asked the six year old if he missed cable. His response: "what's cable?" Guess that would be a no.

Really there's been no lack of things to watch. The only difference is more money in the pocket and less channel surfing since when we sit down to watch TV, we usually already have in mind what we want to watch. YouTube surprisingly has a lot of shows shown on cable.

• Many People Don't Think There's a Way to Watch TV Without Cable

A few months back a family member came over and was shocked to see an antenna behind our TV. She asked what it was for? When I told her to watch TV. She was surprised to find out that regular network TV is free over the air and comes in HD. Crazy how people think the only way to watch TV is through cable.

My mother came to visit a few months back and was lamenting our cable-less home. She wanted to watch a network TV show. So I went to the networks website and she was able to watch. She still complained. I think it was more out of not understanding than for a lack of things to watch.

Our set up is pretty much the same: two Roku boxes and an Apple TV box which is what we mostly watch (because Netflix has separate viewing profiles that Roku does not.)  I still hook up my MacBook to the TV sometimes, if my iPad is tied up. But for the most part, we can visit a website like MTV and play it on the TV via AirPlay. It's great how all the Apple products play nice.

Tonight, after the kids go to bed, I'll catch up on The Biggest Loser via Hulu or The LaVigne Life on YouTube. Really looking forward to Nashville, Parenthood and Scandal. What are you watching these days?

september 2014: currently

Loving: Solo conversations with this guy. Six years old and such wisdom and wit in such a little package. Saturday night in the elevator at church, I looked up and got a glimpse of him as a teenager. He tells me he's not a baby but he's going to always be my baby. {Email and feed readers click here if you can't see photo above]

Enjoying: Our current SoCal heat wave. It is currently 93 degrees as I type this at 12:09 p.m. I know everyone is ready for fall but summer attire is my favorite. So not ready to put away the sandals and sundresses.

Feeling: Nervous about andenoid/tonsil surgery six year old has to have over Thanksgiving break. For a few years now, we have noticed he always sounds very congested. Got him tested for allergies. All clear. Last year his adenoids got checked and they are too big. Medicine hasn't done much to shrink them. A new check up reveled his tonsils are enlarged as well. Whenever I get anxious, I pray for the doctor who is doing the surgery and that God will cover our son.

Reading...:  HomeFront Magazine: A spiritual parenting resource. Stumbled across this magazine recently and fell in love. Great ideas for sharing the Word of God with kids. I read the first copy I got cover to cover. Very inspiring and informative.

Wanting: To take a road trip home to Northern California. It's been a while since I've driven up with the kids. My mother reminds me weekly that she misses her grandkids. Not feeling a six hour drive with all three, but then again, it's not a six hour plane ride so...there's that.

Listening to: Kierra Sheard's Graceland. I LOVE this album and so do the kids. I mentioned that feeding them good music is a priority and this one delivers. I've recently had to draw the line on some music for them. It's good that I could provide an alternative that doesn't make them miss what was denied. Repin My God is their favorite song.

Watching: The Biggest Loser. Six Little McGhees (yes! we are still cable-less). And Teen Mom 2 (my guilty pleasure). I have a post in my drafts folder about life without cable after more than a year. I need to finish that up.

What's new with you?

Cutting Down the Crazy Makers: Getting Organized for the School Year

Last week, was Parent Orientation at the boys school which means I had to attend two separate sessions. The paper that I walked out with after those meetings was crazy, so I knew that I'd have to get an organization system in place....and quick.

Today marks the third day of school for the boys. And I'm happy to report that the system has been working well. Here's to hoping it ends up well too. Here's what's working for us to help the school year sail by smoothly:

Tame the Paper Monster

The forests are weeping at the sheer amount of paper that my family alone sees. Even baby girl brings home a pile of paper from daycare. I set up a basket in the kitchen for each kid. After school, the boys are responsible for putting papers I need to see from their backpacks into their folders. Last year, papers would end up in a pile on the dining room table or shoved into my hand as soon as we got home. This set up is working out much better. I'm going to add a folder for papers that need to be returned to school. 

Pre-Plan

We don't have to be out of the house until 8:15 a.m., but I've found that pre-planning gives us a comfortable cushion so that we all aren't running around like chickens with our heads cut off. Everyone's clothes are ironed and laid out the night before (including undershirts and socks, I even make sure knots are taken out of shoes so there's no last-minute morning hassles over shoelaces). Thanks to Saturday night church, Sundays are now free. This past Sunday, I cooked three dinners for the week. That menu planning came in handy. No more stressing over what to cook with the meat I took out of the freezer. The meals are also used for my lunch (which I pack every day) and for the kids when they don't eat at school. I also pack lunches the night before so everything can just be put into lunch boxes.

Do Less

Over the summer I discovered I realized I was doing too much. So the boys have more chores now. I downloaded the Chore Pad app for the iPad that lists the boys' chores. They rack up points that equal rewards like an iTunes app or a solo date with mommy or daddy. If they complete their daily chores, they get 30 minutes of electronic time. If they do extra chores after homework, they can earn extra time. I have assigned each chore that I have to a different day. It has made life so much easier. I used to start chores and then wind up in another room starting a different chore. With designated chores, I stick to the task at hand.

Give Everything a Home

We have a bench at the entrance of the house from the garage where backpacks go. The boys also have to put their shoes away and uniform pants get worn twice (if not dirty) and they have to be hung up. I also label everyTHANG: supplies, backpacks, lunch bags, uniform shirts, jackets, etc. The kids go swimming at school, so I want to ensure that they return with their uniform and not someone else's. This has saved me much heartache when I've had to go to lost and found to retrieve items they have left behind. I love my Dymo Letratag labeler, but bought the Martha Stewart no iron  and weather resistant labels (for backpacks and lunch bags) this year. We'll see how they survive the school year. I also had the boys organize and label the school supplies by type. They were a bit messy for my liking, but I resisted the urge to redo the boxes and labels. The boxes are kept in our mini-office area. This way, no one is searching for pencils, crayons, scissors or glue sticks. They are all in one place.

Keep Calendars Up to Date

The boys' school post all events to a public Google calendar. I sync this with my Google calendar on my iPhone which has saved me so many times when I've forgotten about something school-related. I also post everything (school events, homework due dates and school projects) in my planner. Just so I know what's coming up. I also have a bulletin board with a section for each kid where I post things related to their class. It's mostly empty now but will fill up as the school year goes on.

This is what has been working for us so far. How do you stay organized during the school year?

Motherhood as Ministry: Seeing the Mundane as Holy

When you have little kids, it's easy for motherhood to feel like one continuous chore. There's laundry, cooking, cleaning, helping with hygiene, training, discipline and the list never ends. I'll admit last week, I was so stir crazy with fatigue that I mumbled to myself: "I can't wait til these kids grow up so I won't have to do all this."

Ugh. What a horrible attitude....that was quickly checked. I only have a few short years to mother these three kids. Right now this is my ministry and I don't want to do it begrudgingly.

My main ministry: these three little people

My former pastor used to always teach that as women our first ministry is our home. Preaching to the nations and traveling the world is fine, but if our homes are neglected then our priorities are out of order. He even went as far to say that if you are preaching and your family is left at home, then you need to come off the road or take your family with you. Hard pill to swallow, but truth nonetheless.

Every thing I do in the home is ministry. From fixing meals to putting fresh linens on the beds. I didn't always think this thought. I used to put to women who preached on a pedastal thinking that was the ultimate ministry: to be behind a podium.

Now that I'm a mother, I realize the work, tears and turmoil that goes into building up little lives. Titus 2:4 says "These older women must train the younger women to love their husbands and their children." Loving children when they're babies is easy...it gets hard when they get older and talk back, throw tantrums and make messes. I'm convinced this is why women need to be trained and encouraged to love their kids.

I admit that sometimes mothering can feel like slave labor with few rewards. But it's through this work that mothering becomes ministry. Every moment is precious and teachable. Every task is building upon the foundation of who they will be in life. My home is the place where I'm called to love these children.  And I'm the only mother these kids will have.

My ministry includes providing a safe, clean peaceful place for them to come to after a day out in the world. The clean clothes I wash, fold and put away help them to put their best foot forward each day. Every meal I shop for and prepare is an act of love. Praying for them and with them, recounting the same Bible story over and over and even playing video games WITH them is part of my ministry. Loving them comes in many forms. 

I know I'll have to remind myself of this when I'm scrubbing yet another toilet or discipling a child gone wild. This time of ministry with my children in the home is just a season that will soon fade into another. There are no re-do's or second chances when it comes to raising children, so I want to devote myself wholeheartedly to this ministry of motherhood.

As I head to check on my little ones who are now sound asleep, and on pull on blankets they've kicked off as well as straighten up toys they have left behind, I take comfort in these words: “But you, take courage! Do not let your hands be weak, for your work shall be rewarded” (2 Chronicles 15:7).

Things I'll Miss When the Kids Grow Up

Never a dull moment with these three.

The other night I stepped on a Lego and my life flashed before my eyes. The pain from that little piece of toy was so horrific, I wanted to chuck every Lego in the trash. 

Life with kids is messy.

And loud.

And chaotic...

and downright exhausting.

But in a few short years, it won't be. Soon my three will be trading time with mommy for time with friends and trips to the mall. Toys will soon become cell phones and MacBooks. I know this because just yesterday, it seemed like I had little ones in walkers and Boppy pillows. But I blinked and they grew.

When they grow up, I'm going to miss drawings that feature their names scrawled in big messy print.

I'm going to miss little fingerprints on the windows of my freshly washed car. 

And artwork made with love brought home from school.

Toys rolling around on the floorboard of my car.  

Cartoons blaring early on Saturday morning.  

The cute way they mispronounce words and mix up meanings. 

Christmas morning joy that only comes from small kids.  

Cutting up food into little bite size pieces.

Making one last round at bedtime to make sure they haven't kicked their blankets off.

Feeling feverish foreheads with the back of my head and soothing them with kisses and cold compresses.

Requests for fruit snacks and cookies and juice and whatever catches their eye during a trip to the grocery store.

I used to get slightly jealous of my friends without kids. Their houses always pristine. Car windows clear of fingerprints. They never had toys in their purse or half-bitten lipstick in their make up bags. Then I came home to my little circus of kids and realized that life is messy but it's also infinitely more joyous and full of love because they are in it.

august 2014 :: currently

I drive. She reads.

Loving: This 4-in-1 dress I got on clearance at Gap. Just realized I could wear it four ways I thought it could only be worn as a maxi dress and maxi skirt. Got it in blue stripes and gray. Looking forward to seeing how it looks as a midi dress and mini dress.

Enjoying: Alejandra.tv, an organizing guru that I found on Roku's Home channel. She has lots of organizing tips that I'll be incorporating into my world.

Feeling: Relieved that I found a way to get baby girl to sleep. She'd been screaming and crying at bedtime. When my oldest was a baby I got exasperated one day and plopped him in the crib and turned on a Josh Groban CD to calm myself down. Instantly, he got quiet and eventually fell asleep.Turned it on for baby girl the other night, she cried for maybe 10 minutes and then laid herself down. Sweet sleep. Going to make a bedtime playlist for her to shake things up and hopefully keep her from bedtime meltdowns. Sing Over Me: Worship Songs and Lullabies is one of my personal faves.

Still Reading...: The Walk of the Spirit; The Walk of Power: The Vital Role of Praying in Tongues. Sometimes real life gets in the way of book reading.

Wanting: The Canon Powershot S100. My iPhone is so full that I want a small camera to carry around. This one is perfect. Also in need of a new wallet since my last one got lost. This kate spade would be a nice replacement for the small, temp one I'm using now.

Listening to: Louie Giglio's Goliath Must Fall series. (Hands down, one of my favorites preachers). So far the series also includes Fear Must Fall, Rejection Must Fall and Comfort Must Fall.

Watching: 5 Minute Fridays with Pastor Kelley Steele. I've always enjoyed the ministry of her husband Pastor Reginald Steele of Kingdom in the Valley Christian Church. Such a treat to get an encouraging mini message from her on YouTube every Friday.

What's up in your world?

Praying the Write Way: A Look At My Prayer Notebook

About six years ago I started a prayer notebook. It started out of sheer desperation really: too many prayers to keep in my heart so I poured them out on paper. 

Quite a few years ago, I'd taken a class at church where the instructor had us write prayers to God. I'd never been taught that and found the exercise to be a powerful expression of prayer.

Back to my first prayer notebook, It was a combination of scriptures turned prayer, chapters of the Bible written out, lyrics from songs whose words were like prayer to me, answers to prayer and little snippets of prayer encouragement to name a few. 

It was a simple Mead composition notebook that I toted everywhere. It's seen better days. One thing I didn't like about it was that it was bound so when one section filled up, there was no way to insert more pages.

When I made my DIY planner and discovered discbound notebooks, I decided to transfer the prayer notebook to that system. It's been lovely to have sections that can be added to.

I created sections for:

Praise: More than prayer, it's a section to praise God for who He is.

Myself: Mainly declarations, lots of prayer requests and scriptures turned into personal prayers.

Husband: self-explanatory.

Kids: There's a general prayer page for all three kids. But each one of my kids also has their own page(s) so I can focus on prayer specific to their individual needs.

Fam+: Includes extended family and friends. I am always saying I'm going to pray for someone. This section helps me not to forget.

Misc: Church, pastor and whatever else doesn't fall into the above sections.

There's also an unmarked tab where I keep articles on prayer and encouragement to pray. 

I used scrapbook paper to make dividers and printed out labels for each section to put on the Post-It tabs.

This notebook helps me to stay organized in prayer more than anything. There's no schedule for who gets prayed for on a certain day, it's just more of a place to jot down requests and answers. Some prayers have been noted on paper for a long time with no answer yet...but seeing it on paper reminds me to keep on praying.